My Breathing Heart

Winter Ramp Georgia 2011

2012-01-04T17:48:00.000-05:00

This past weekend Peter, myself, and thirty-five others encountered God is powerful and life-changing ways at Winter Ramp 2011 in Dalton, Georgia.

I was overwhelmed by God's love and the power of passionately pursuing Christ. Honestly, so much happened and I feel like I am still digesting everything I received! I plan to write more in depth about the sessions, who featured well known speakers and leaders Perry Stone, Damon Thompson, Karen Wheaton, Dutch Sheets, and Chosen (an amazing ministry team). I also hope to share about some new worship leaders who shepherded encounters that I had with Christ with wisdom, joy and passion--Catherine Mullens, Bryn Waddell, and Rick Pino.

There were two themes that stuck out to me throughout this event. First, that we truly serve One Lord--the One True God. Even though the ministry of the Ramp was full of speakers I had never heard of, that probably were not at all connected with the stream of ministers and focuses I grew up on, the themes were the same. For example, Rick Pino spent his first worship set completely focused on tearing down the spirit of orphans and slaves and coming into our identity as sons and daughters. His message was that of the Father Heart, the core of the Toronto Blessing, which was so clear as they sang "Abba, Abba" over and over. The intimacy of Jesus and love for Him was another huge focus (which I've seen greatly in the IHOP stream) and the power of the Holy Spirit and miracles (a major theme at Bethel in CA) was also evident. And just like the Awakening Jesus Culture Conference earlier this year, Winter Ramp was all about getting youth zealous with a honed goal of spreading Christ and His life-changing power everywhere we go. Truly, He is one Big God and He moves consistently among His children, no matter where they are or who they know.

The other major focus of Winter Ramp was the utmost importance of developing and maintaining your own personal prayer life with God. Without it, you are dried up and you choose to limit how much God can do in your life by not letting Him in faithfully. I hope to write about this more in depth soon, because God has been doing lots in my life in this area!

If you're interested in a play-by-play of Winter Ramp Georgia (December 29th-31st, 2011), you can check out my husband's blog (Day 1, Day 2, Day 3).

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

2011-12-27T14:31:00.000-05:00

Dip, swipe, press, snip, stitch, wrap, tape, mix, bake--these along with "Go Tell it On the Mountain," "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas," "The First Noel," and other holiday classics filled my days leading up to our Christmas celebrations.

Then dinner with extended family: the hustle and bustle, the smiles and introductions with your grandmother's extended family who many only half know (and I have never met). Aromas drift through the air--from both delectable treats, as well as through the conversation, giving a taste into each person's life. "Really, they are married now? How time flys." "Yes, well, coming from Australia, being in the United Kingdom is practically in your neck of the woods so I stopped by." "His new haircut really makes him look so hip." "We are so blessed he was protected." "Oh look at you, how'd you manage to sit at the young table?"

Hubs with his new coat and Skyrim

Then Christmas Eve morning, and my man and I have our own sweet Christmas celebration together. After days upon days of jesting and certainty that we each got the other the best gifts this year, the anticipation was not uncalled for: I received some gorgeous riding style boots and my very own sewing machine(!!), and my husband loves his Jack Bower coat and Skyrim video game.

We enjoyed some amazing homemade french toast from yours truly, and enjoyed finishing up some gifts for our family during the afternoon. Then we spent the evening with my parents, sister, brothers, grandma and great-grandmother exchanging a few gifts and sharing my mom's traditional Christmas dinner together--green bean casserole, Sam's Ham, and amazing hashbrown casserole. I made one of my favorite Christmas treats--Bonoffee Pie (I hope to share the recipe here some day--it's incredible.)

Christmas Eve Dinner with my Family

As the sun was rising Christmas morning we returned to my parent's home to share in gift giving with my family. My family makes quick and delightful work of opening gifts and it is always a wonderfully fun time. We opened more than we expected to receive--including the super surprising gift of my parents buying our tickets to go to Walt Disney World with the family in February!!! Next we worshipped our amazing Savior together at church, and after receiving an exciting gift to each other (and mainly WorshipArts) I'll tell you about soon, we headed out to Grandma Webbs to spend the rest of the afternoon and evening opening a plethora (read, over 100) gifts together with another group of Peter's family. Smiles, laughs, crinkling paper, the pop of plastic toy boxes, and the occasional tears of joy filled the home.

On the road to Ohio

Then another pre-sunrise morning and a drive down to Ohio, to Tami's parents home--a lovely haven of rest, fun, movies, games and family. I'm loving how chill and relaxed it is here, but I also can't wait until Peter takes me on our annual trip to Easton for my birthday, and then our trip down to have some serious encounters with Jesus at the conference Winter Ramp!

I hope and pray you too have had a beautiful, relaxing, time with your family, receiving and giving gifts of love and time (and of course a few actual presents as well). And most importantly, I hope you have met and experienced the love of Jesus in this time--be it in a private moment with him, while singing his praises in a carol, or through the wonder of family love--as we celebrate his birth together.

Adventures of the 20th

2011-12-21T00:03:00.000-05:00

Today was one of those perfect Christmas vacation days. Peter and I slept in until the crazy hour of 11, spent some quality time together lounging around the apartment, and went out for brunch at Cracker Barrel thanks to gift cards and the generosity of awesome people we know.

On the way home we ran a few errands to grab some more supplies for Christmas gifts, paid a visit to some frogs and their gnome friends, and then headed home. I spent the next 5 or so hours crafting my heart out creating some fun presents to give our family during this weekend's festivities while listening to pretty amazing Christmas music.

I love living life with my best friend. Peter keeps me positive even when at hour 4 of creating it's starting to feel less expressive and just plain laborious. He challenges me to keep writing (especially by setting some pretty hefty goals of his own for next year) and to not let my standards of perfection keep me from getting things done. Anytime anything that doesn't line up with Christ (stress, worry, frustration etc!) enters my mind he doesn't hesitate to call me out on it and straighten out my thinking with an encouraging word that points me to Jesus. He's brilliant, and as you can see for yourself, "a genius."

Thanks to you, hubs, for making the holidays amazing with our own little family time to rest

and delight in all the blessings Jesus has given us.

Interested in that fabulous Christmas playlist? Check it out:

Christmas - Carols by Tori Webb on Grooveshark

Profanity.

2011-12-07T19:50:00.001-05:00

"You did WHAT? What the ----"

We've all heard it somewhere: a slightly too colorful word or phrase. Swearing, cursing, profanity, vulgarity--it's all around us, and as Christians, it is super easy to add it to our vocabulary. But is it right?

I've talked about swearing and cursing with a lot of people over the years, and the first response usually looks something like: "Well, who defines swearing? What is ACTUALLY a swear word? What is vulgar?" In essence: isn't it all relative anyway? My church recently did a series called "Is it Relative? Living Morally in an Amoral World" and I think that truth summarized in that title applies: words are amoral, but the way we use them can be moral and immoral.

But back to the questions they pose. Lets look at some definitions, shall we? Vulgar is defined as " indecent; obscene; lewd; crude; coarse; unrefined." Swear, in our context, means "to use profane oaths or language." Profane goes a bit further, and was originally in relation to taking the Lord's name in vain: "characterized by irreverence or contempt for God or sacred principles or things; irreligious." It also means "not devoted to holy or religious purposes; unconsecrated; secular ( opposed to sacred)." (Vulgar is also a definition of profane, coincidentally.) And, just to be thorough, I pulled up profanity: "The quality of being profane; irreverence. Profane conduct or language; a profane act or utterance. Obscenity."

So to recap, swearing is using words in a way that are indecent, crude, coarse, not devoted to holy purposes, and obscene. Regardless of context or intent, this is the definition of swearing.

I feel like the recap definition above answers this question on its own, but I'd like to state it because it gets asked: "Doesn't the culture define what is swearing? I mean what about: 'Those who reject Christ's salvation will not enter heaven, but will enter hell.'" This goes right back to words being amoral. Using the word hell in that context is appropriate and is not offensive. Yet often times, when a word becomes profanity, the actual definition of the word loses any "clean" meaning that it had (ex. the alternate for "donkey") or in many cases it wasn't something decent to talk about in the first place.

Though a search result for "profanity" doesn't bring up any scripture, the Bible has a lot to say about how Christians are supposed to live, the conditions of our hearts, and controlling what we speak.

The Psalmist pleaded that God would "Seta guard, O LORD, over my mouth; Keep watch over the door of my lips" (Psa141:3). And then in Proverbs, there is an actual reference for the idea that we will "eat" our words: "Aman's stomach shall be satisfied from the fruit of his mouth; From the produce of his lips he shall be filled" (Pro18:20). James, as he likes to do, lays it down straight in verse 26 of the first chapter: "Ifyou claim to be religious but don't control your tongue, you arefooling yourself, and your religion is worthless."

Clearly, there are things we shouldn't say. Isn't this just about the obvious stuff, like dishonoring God's name, or tearing down someone else? I'd say yes, that's included, but I'd say there is also a lot more on the table here.

In Luke 6:45, Jesus clarified it even more: "The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in hisheart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored upin his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks." We get a peak into the condition of our heart through the words we say.

In fact, Jesus expands on this concept in Matthew 12:33-37: "Either make the tree good and its fruit good, or elsemake the tree bad and its fruit bad; for a tree is known by its fruit. Brood of vipers! How can you, being evil, speak goodthings? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. Agood man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth goodthings, and an evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth evilthings. But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, theywill give account of it in the day of judgment. For by your words youwill be justified, and by your words you will be condemned."

Every word we say matters--even if done thoughtlessly or ignorantly, we will have to give an account. Our words are very important: "It's not what goes into your mouth that defiles you; you aredefiled by the words that come out of your mouth" (Mat 15:11).

So what are Christians called to be, do, and say?

We are called to a higher standard, to live our lives in a way that leads others to Christ. We are called to live in accordance with the Kingdom of God, to make our bodies, God's temple, a place that He is comfortable in and wants to dwell in because it is laid out according to His desires.

A few things that God doesn't like in His house include "fornication and all uncleanness or covetousness." In fact, He had it written that we should "let it not even be named among you, as is fitting for saints; neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks" (Eph 5:3-4).

Instead, God wants His house (ahem, you and me) filled with "whateverthings are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just,whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever thingsare of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anythingpraiseworthy—meditate on these things" (Phi 4:8).

And there is an even bigger reason than just making God happy. He wants us to keep a clean house--a clean spirit and mind--for a purpose. It's like "ina wealthy home some utensils are made of gold and silver, and someare made of wood and clay. The expensive utensils are used forspecial occasions, and the cheap ones are for everyday use. If youkeep yourself pure, you will be a special utensil for honorable use.Your life will be clean, and you will be ready for the Master to useyou for every good work" (2Ti2:20-21). That good work is being a representation of Christ to those around us because "weprove ourselves by our purity, our understanding, our patience, ourkindness, by the Holy Spirit within us, and by our sincere love" (2Cr6:6).

If it is at all in our means, we need to live at peace with everyone around us--and the people around us are a part of our culture (Rom 12:18). We "work at living in peace with everyone, and work at living aholy life, for those who are not holy will [otherwise] not see the Lord" (Hbr12:14).

Speaking with peace and holiness while using profanity cannot go hand in hand; they are contradictions. Think about the context of nearly all swearing: either tearing someone or something down, expressing frustration vulgarly, or simply being idle in a careless, profane way with your speech. Does this promote peace and give an example of living a holy life? It's OK for us to express our feelings, but it's not OK for us to violate God's desires and standards when we do so (Eph4:26-27).

It's about a lot more than the words you say. It is about living a life that is pure, which is an antonym for vulgar. From my perspective, God doesn't care about the act of swearing; He cares about what the act of swearing means about your heart.

Ideas

2011-11-19T22:00:00.001-05:00

I love ideas.

I'd go so far as to say discovering ideas is my hobby. I love spending my time finding new ideas and dreaming about all the things I could do, or that I could inspire others to do. I've realized it's more than just a general love of information, which I've written about before, but actually specifically I love thinking about, discovering, and especially sharing ideas that are helpful and generally brilliant!

Onto this stage of my life, with this setting of loving ideas, entered a new character: Pinterest.

Oh my goodness, friends, this website is incredible. It is completely about sharing ideas! At it's simplest, it is like the bookmarks you can make in your browser, except public and it uses pictures. You set up "boards" where you "pin" photos that link to different websites. Let me warn you now: this will easily eat up hours of your time if you aren't careful!

I have used boards for collecting ideas for my parents 50th Birthday Party, keeping track of decoration ideas for parties/weddings that I may help with in the future, my Christmas/birthday wish list, a list of more practical items I'd like to purchase, home decorating ideas, tips & tricks, recipes, and ideas for our future children to name a few!

I definitely see myself writing posts in the future about ideas I've found and used from Pinterest--so keep your eye out! And if you don't have an account and you'd like to be invited, I'd be happy to invite you. It is set up so that the pins that show up in your home screen are from boards you follow--so you can fairly easily eliminate the odd crude photo (honestly, I've only stumbled on like...two) by only following the boards of your friends or a few carefully selected other boards. (It's also good to note you cannot make a board private at this time.)

Ideas are incredible, and I am so privileged to live in an age where the internet has enabled sharing of ideas like never before. I cannot wait to see where this new technology and idea sharing will change, shape, and build interactions with people throughout my lifetime!

Powerful Love

2011-11-16T20:02:00.001-05:00

I've started following Whitney's blog (which has the fantastic and memorable name of Elm Street Life) and wow, has it been encouraging or what! I had been lacking inspiration for my own blog, and she helped me get out of my rut. I'm not even sure how I stumbled upon her (maybe Pinterest somehow?) but I'm definitely thinking it was a God-thing.

Besides the clean layout style that inspired my blog's new makeover, she posts about real life in straightforward, well-crafted segments. It's not any one theme other than her own life, but she's so creative and I can tell she loves Jesus. I know its a long stretch to say after reading only a few of her posts, but my heart says we'd be "kindred spirits" if we ever were to meet.

Today I just had to share this powerful little clip she showed in her post "A Picture of Grace". I didn't have time to listen to the whole message from her pastor, so I skipped to 29:15 like she suggested. And wow. What an incredible picture of our Father's grace and love!

The Church from Journey Franklin on Vimeo.

Lord, help me understand your heart towards me consistently. You are so good.

via

The Realities of Heaven

2011-11-14T22:24:00.001-05:00

I am so favored to be alive in such a time as this!

That statement, I believe, is probably rarely thought in our country. The economy is doomed, schools are less successful and more dangerous, families fall apart at every turn, non-profits that care for the poor are carrying so much more that they are forced to close their doors, and not just in some abstract part of the nation: It's happening on many "Main Streets" in our country--even right here in Kalamazoo. The message is everywhere--the front page of the paper, the headlines on the news websites, and the conversation you over hear in the coffee shop: "FEAR."

If modern news stories, conversations and your circumstances are what influences you, then you're probably dealing with some serious fear as well. Times are rough. Prices aren't going down. Hours at work aren't going up. So many of my friends and acquaintances are dealing with serious problems--from lack in finances, transportation problems, to relational issues and everything in between. "What if..." is a mercenary-thought just waiting to murder your day, week, and outlook on life.

But this is only a fraction of reality, only the surface tension trying to keep back the depth of the water life is!

God is moving in a powerful way. I am hearing testimonies multiple times a week of the wondrous ways He is working! More and more are praying as they drive and walk throughout their lives and are seeing real differences. My sister was miraculously healed of TMJ and was able to open her jaw completely without pain for the first time in two years. I know 26 people who were baptized a week and a half ago.

God is moving His people across the nation in powerful ways!

Last Friday (11-11-11) four major prayer events took place in the north, south, east and west of the United States. In the north, tens of thousands gathered from across America at The Call (led by Lou Engle) in Detroit to fast, pray and cry out to God to end abortion, end racial divides, and unite our nation under God. In the south in Dallas there was a citywide call to prayer at the Irving Convention Center. The culmination of 40 days of 24/7 prayer, worship and fasting led by James Nesbit in the east in Washington, D.C. ended that night. And to the west "a call for Unity, an Outpouring of the Holy Spirit and to see the Glory of God for Revival and a Harvest of Souls" occurred as thousands gathered in the Rose Bowl to intercede for our nation.

Powerful, life changing messages are being shared in local congregations and through nationally known speakers from Bethel Church in California and The Ramp in Alabama, to name two that God has use to impact my life.

God is calling us to listen to His voice in this time. And from what I have picked up "fear" is the last thing He's focusing on right now. Now is the time to press into Him; now is the time for new intimacy with our Savior. We must "set [our] sights on the realities of heaven...not the things of earth" (Col. 3:1-2). He is looking for the ones who are watching, listening, their ear ever tuned to Him so He can move in powerful ways.

In order for this to happen, we are going through a refining fire. Those of us who have less than wholehearted devotion are experiencing distance, less tolerance, and pain--this refining fire burns hot.

The enemy is throwing trial after trial in our path and highlighting our every weakness in order to keep our eyes on the things of earth. If he can keep you consumed with the day to day life without Christ, then he has the victory. My friends, don't wait until you "get a moment" to tune into what Christ is doing. Make the moments. Listen to worship music every chance you can (I can recommend a few artists that keep me focused on Christ). Turn on a sermon podcast while you're doing the dishes or driving in the car. Open your Bible instead of checking your "Words With Friends" app (I'm guilty here for sure.) If we don't make the moments, we will miss out what the Spirit is doing now.

It's Facebook In-Real-Life

2011-11-12T12:01:00.001-05:00

Here I am, sitting in McDonald's with nine WorshipArts students. The layout of the restaurant, intentionally designed to accommodate the average American family of four (or maybe six if the generous parents allowed the two kids to bring their friends) didn't have a place where we could all sit together. So the Genesis team is clustered seven people around a four person booth, and myself and two others are at their nifty laptop bar.

Even though the Genesis team is officially meeting (and I know they are truly being productive) it's been interesting to observe them and the other WorshipArts-ers interact. What might seem a bit unusual is that half of this interaction is happening...on Facebook.

One person was on Facebook, and then hacked into another person's account who is here. They made a humorous status, and then another student commented on it. I've also posted and interacted with them on Facebook here, too. It's very intriguing to see the Facebook World and the In-Real-Life World crossover; it has taken "passing notes" to a whole new level.

It is incredible that this group is so tight knit and laid back, that one of them just referenced the post, and the other eight people are all in on the joke already, and they laughed along. Then almost immediately they have seamlessly integrated back into their topic, back on focus and on track.

Yes, to the traditional teacher, this certainly looks unproductive. But WorshipArts is successful in obtaining its goals, and in addition their community is so strong, loving, supportive, and fun! I don't completely understand Peter's model for the program, but I know it works, and it is blessed.

Who knows how social networking will continue to become a normal integrated part of communication? Though it could look like the kids were zoned out once in a while on Facebook, they were actually building their own community. What looked divisive, was actually strengthening and unifying. And how will social networks effect and change traditional teaching? I certainly don't know, but I'm excited to see the growth and evolution of communication!

The Dove in Mind

2011-10-15T22:24:00.002-04:00

At the Three Streams Convergence Conference in Toronto, Canada October 3rd though 6th, 2011, I heard amazing teachings from major leaders of Bethel Church (Redding, CA), International House of Prayer (Kansas City, MO) and Catch the Fire (Toronto, Can.). (Hows that for a sentence PACKED with details...)

Out of the cascade of incredible testimonies, stories, and revelations shared, one point from Pastor Bill Johnson's teaching on Tuesday night has not left my mind.

He told the story of when the Holy Spirit descended on Christ like a dove "and He remained upon Him." Bill Johnson said, think about that: if you have a dove on your shoulder that you don't want to leave you, how are your going to act? As Bill said, "Your every movement is with the dove in mind."

He illustrated it with a white cloth on his shoulder, and he walked slowly, watching the "dove", paying attention to it. It got me thinking about my own life, and if I am truly living it every moment mindful of the dove on my shoulder, the Holy Spirit's presence in my life.

This would mean that I would be constantly looking to Him and talking to Him, to know where He's at. I would be checking every action that I did, because I would be completely aware that the slightest wrong movement would mean He could "fly away."

Or to look at it another way: As Christians, we have accepted Christ as our Savior and Lord, and the Holy Spirit has taken up residence inside of us. What type of residence do we provide for Him? Am I a dwelling He likes?

Am I spending my time honoring Him, or do I act as if His opinion is really negotiable, and it doesn't effect my decisions? Do I choose to err on the side of caution so I don't offend Him, or is His opinion a bit of a "grey area" in my life?

I've been fairly convicted in this: if I'm not concerned about what He thinks, if I'm calloused about spending time with Him, or I don't "feel" the conviction of crossing His lines, then that means I've let myself fall out of love with Him.

I want to sow daily into my relationship with Christ, honor Him with my thoughts and actions, and be mindful of His presence in every moment so that never happens!

via

Like an Earthquake

2011-09-24T22:42:00.000-04:00

I was sitting minding my own business tonight as I used facebook (which is what everyone does on facebook you know) when I saw a friend's profile picture. In it she had the words "People get ready...Jesus is coming!" That reminded me of the incredible 10 minute long song by Misty Edwards my friend was referencing, and I couldn't get the quote out of my head as I continued surfing.

Naturally, I did what makes the most sense--I decided I should play the song.

And oh my word, the Holy Spirit just showed up right here, while I'm in my PJs alone in our apartment surfing Facebook, of all times and places!

I started crying as the power of the lyrics sunk into my spirit--"He's coming. He's coming. He's alive!"

Even before I was half way though the song, He started stirring His words in my heart--"I am coming to Kalamazoo. I am coming to Michigan."

"People get ready. Jesus is coming."

God is steadily, drumming, beating, yet whispering:

Growth is coming. Freedom is coming. That which was unhealthy in relationships, thoughts, actions and has been tolerated will no longer be tolerated.

I've seen many, many relationships hit the true crisis point in the last two years. Marriages, friendships, work environments, family relationships--everything. And I've seen these relationships either be restored...or destroyed. It has been both humbling and sobering. "Once again I'm going to shake / Everything that can be shaken / Once again I'm going to break / Everything that can be broken."

And yet the release of freedom has been even more humbling!

I just spent the evening with my amazing parents(-in-law) and I heard story after story of the incredible freedom God is releasing in the lives of those in Paw Paw. I've heard and seen God's presence show up and miracles occur downtown at my church's young adult group, Dwell. My Facebook news-feed continues to have more and more verses as statuses. Our church has finally, after many years, broken the 200 member barrier, and are nearing 250 people gathering to seek God together. I just heard on the radio--Kalamazoo is the best city in Michigan in terms of the economy--I credit that to God and the prayers of His people here.

As this song was going, all of this was running through my mind. All this freedom that I've witnessed isn't the end--it is the beginning! God started pounding it into my heart--these are what come before the earthquake. I wasn't sure of the term, so I googled: "what are the little quakes before a big earthquake called" and found this site. I started reading and before I found the term "foreshocks" I was immediately hit--they were using snapping as an illustration for how an earthquake works! My co-worker, a leader at our church and my good friend often snaps when she is praying, and lately I've been doing it, too. I had always figured the snapping was probably a God-thing, and low and behold--this was thrown to the front of my mind as I read!

"People get ready. Jesus is coming!"

And the revelation continued to grow: before the song was 3 minutes into it, I remember The Call. This gathering of thousands and thousands of intercessors who fast leading up to the event and press into His power to bring change and spiritual freedom for the United States of America.

And The Call is coming to Detroit 11/11/11.

A spiritual earthquake is coming--and the freedom and trials many are experiencing now is this release, the foreshocks of an amazing quake to come. I believe The Call and the 40 day fast leading up to it are going to be mightily used by God in this coming earthquake.

People, are you ready?

People Get Ready Lyrics

2011-09-24T20:55:00.002-04:00

I couldn't find the full lyrics for People Get Ready by Misty Edwards, so I watched this video (http://youtu.be/dHnltIkuM1k) and added them up here.

People Get Ready
By Misty Edwards
He's coming
Awake, awake oh sleeper
Awake, awake oh sleeper
He's coming

He's coming, He's alive
Jesus of Nazareth
The Son of David
The slain Lamb
He was born to be a King

He's alive
The Jewish man
He's alive
He's alive

Prepare the way
People get ready
People get ready
Surely, He is not a man that He would lie
He said He would come again
And He will come again
People get ready
People get ready

People get ready
Some said a carpenter
Some said a teacher
They said a prophet
They said "He's a fraud"
He is God

But He is fully a man
Born to be a King
Though He was silent
Like a lamb to the slaughter
He was silent
In His patience
He endured

But I know the end of the story
And we're only at the beginning of the beginning
He's coming
He's alive
He's alive

Look upon the One you've pierced
Look upon the One you've pierced
Who is this King of Glory?
Who is this King of Glory?

Jesus
Messiah

The root and the offspring of David

I can hear the rhythm
of the Lion of the tribe of Judah

He's alive

The same way he ascended
He will descend again

He's doing a new thing
Are you ready?
Are you ready for this?

I can hear the rhythm of
the Lion of the tribe of Judah
x8

He's doing a new thing
So we're singing a new song
x4

He's not a baby in a manger anymore
He's not a broken man on a cross
He didn't stay in the grave
And He's not staying in heaven forever!
x2

He's alive
He's alive
He's alive
He's alive!
x4

People get ready!
Jesus is coming!
x4

We join in the song of the ages
It's a new song
It's a new song
It's a new song

We say to the One who was slain,
"You have proven Your love,
And You have shown us, shown us
That You can be trusted."

So take the scroll and open
And open, and open the seals
We trust You, Jesus
And we want you to come back
So take the scroll and open the seals
So take the scroll and open the seals

I can hear the rhythm
of the Lion of the tribe of Judah
x4

He's doing a new thing
So we're singing a new song
x4

He's not a baby in a manger anymore
He's not a broken man on a cross
He didn't stay in the grave
And He's not staying in heaven forever!
x2

He's alive
He's alive
He's alive
He's alive!
x2

People get ready!
Jesus is coming!
x4

People walking around
With their fingers in the their ears
Singing, "Da da da da da."
"I don't want to hear the sound
of the coming King."
x2

But He says, He says,
"Well, I have held my peace for
A long, long, long, long, long, long time
And in my silence you thought
That I was all together like you.
And in your heart you were settled in complacency
You said, 'He won't even respond.'
You said, 'He's not interested."
You said, 'He's dead and gone."
But I've been silent for such
A long, long, long, long time
But I'm about to gasp, to pant,
To cry out, to cry out,
To cry out, to cry out,
I'm going to shout!"

Once again I'm going to shake
Everything that can be shaken
Once again I'm going to break
Everything that can be broken
x2

Are you ready?
Are you ready for this?
x 5
Are you ready?
Are you ready?

People get ready!
Jesus is coming!
x4

He's coming!
He's coming!
He's coming!
He's coming!!!
x2

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His Presence

2011-09-13T21:03:00.000-04:00

Generally, my life is the battle between two facts. The first is my knowledge that planning ahead, going to bed early, getting up early, eating well, exercising, doing chores etc. all equal a good, happy, productive life. The second is a husband who loves spontaneity and late nights, my own desires to read, write, create, and explore new things online (yep, that is a fancy way of saying research) spend chill time with my hubs watching movies, and, of course...the occasional computer game...which also equal a happy life. However, combined with work, sleep, etc., these two lifestyles could collectively eat up about 30 to 40 hours a day. Yep. That's not possible.

But you know what? I react differently to this now. I used to get stressed out, frustrated, annoyed, ornery, exhausted... and generally joyless. But my Jesus is so good and so faithful. No matter what I get in, from just listening to a few worship songs to spending legit time reading His Word and journaling what He says to me, my attitude is totally different.

Yes, we do have something or another going on practically every night. Yes, I do work thirty full hours a week. Yes, my husband has back to back 10 and 12 hour days. And yes, it is amazing what spending time in God's presence does.

Take today. Mind you, I didn't get up until like 8 because I was up late last night. I hastily threw some chicken in a crock-pot (score for planning ahead!) and rushed out the door. I only ate half a breakfast. My husband didn't eat a good lunch, which always weighs on me. Oh, did I mention I worked nine and a half hours today, starting at 9:30 AM? Yep. But I spent time with my King this morning, and I'm full of His joy right now.

I challenge you right now--take your relationship with Jesus to the next level. Play one more worship song in the morning than you do now. Read one more verse today than you would. Spend one more minute in prayer. And start expecting the favor I know He will give you.

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JC Awakening 2011: Banning Liebscher Part 2

2011-08-21T21:40:00.002-04:00

Here are some more tidbits from Banning Liebscher's message at the Jesus Culture awakening conference in the beginning of August 2011.

We have all been called to be different than the world. On this topic of our calling, and how we are all called to something, Banning quoted the story of the King inviting people to his wedding celebration, and how the esteemed had excuses and didn't come, so the King invited anyone his servants could find along the highway, "both good and bad." Banning continued with Matt. 22:14, saying "'Many are called, but few are chosen' because few say YES."

"Jesus makes it easy to leave and hard to stay." Banning stated that, "It is the most hardcore thing in the world to follow Jesus...When He calls you, he is asking for your entire life." Jesus doesn't make it easy. In fact, in John 6 it recounts when He stated that to be apart of what He had you would have to eat his own blood and flesh, and many were offended and left him. But the worth is incredible.

Count the Cost. In Luke 14 we are told through a parable to count the cost of following Christ before we embark. "Salvation is a free gift," Banning reminded us, "but salvation will also cost you your entire life."

He laughed, and then told us that he is sympathetic for those who genuinely have a difficult time giving their tithe of 10% of their finances to their local churches, because God does not want 10% of your finances, He wants not only 100% of your finances, but 100% of your life. He also humbled me, and probably many others in the room, when he acted out our thoughts of debating back and forth with God. "Well, God, are you sure you want me to give that up completely? I mean, it's really only worth this, right?" and continued with the usual auction-style dialogue. "No," Banning said. When God asks or commands something of us we must remember: "God does not barter."

Things that don't cost anything aren't worth anything (2 Samuel 24:24). With the full weight of seriousness, he said, "I am concerned about a generation who's salvation costs them nothing."

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Prayer & Worship

2011-08-12T15:45:00.000-04:00

For many years now, God has put prayer on my heart. Whenever I ask Him about how He wants me to spend my time, He has repeatedly exhorted me to press into prayer, specifically interceding for others and what God wants to do in this world.

God has been so faithful to answer my prayers, too; time and time again He comes through with new income for our family, physical healing, breakthrough in perspectives, and so many other provisions.

And prayer, when partnered with worshiping God, always seems to open up a new level of experiencing God's presence. This is why Peter and I have decided the best thing we can do for WorshipArts and the students we want to grow this semester is to have a night of Prayer and Worship!

We are going to be specifically focusing our prayers on this next semester of WorshipArts. We want the students who participate to have their lives changed and encounter God in new ways. We want them to be given boldness and opportunities to step up in their local churches and start impacting the people in their lives for the Kingdom of Christ. We want the youth of Kalamazoo and beyond to know Christ intimately, and take Him boldly out into there communities with the power of the Holy Spirit!

If you believe in the power of prayer, I'd love to have you partner with us and pray for this next semester of WorshipArts and the greater Kalamazoo area this coming Tuesday night. All the details you need are right here on Facebook. And even if you can't come out, I covet your prayers for God's blessing and favor over these next four months!

Message Team

2011-08-08T22:27:00.000-04:00

Some of you may have heard about a big, exciting change coming up in my life this fall. (No, I'm not having a baby.) I'm going to be leading a passion-filled team of youth resolved to use their writing and speaking skills to bring God glory.

I am charged up about what God is going to do in the students own lives and through them as they impact the community. I hope to empower them to both explore different writing styles and be able to hone in on whichever style they are most passionate about.

Most of the time we will be using a less traditional style of teaching where students receive a themed prompt and then they get to choose to run with whichever specific writing style they want. I'm excited about this because we will get a variety of topics but also they won't be forced to write in a style they hate for the majority of the time.

Here's an example of what this might look like:

Tommy reaches his hand into a hat and pulls out the topic “Proverbs 17:9 “Disregarding another person's faults preserves love; telling about them separates close friends.” He decides it would be fun to try and do this week's assignment as lyrics to a song, and what do you know, that's allowed!

As long as the theme is evident (through a story, real-life example, through direct quotation, etc.), he can be as creative as he wants. Throughout the season Tommy will have to do a minimum of 2 persuasive papers, 1 reflective paper, 1 informative paper, 1 song lyrics or poem, 1 fiction paper, and 1 script (drama or video) but he has to write a total of 12 assignments—meaning 5 of his assignments are completely up to him to decide on the style. (Actual required assignments subject to change before season starts.)

Tommy will also have to share at least 3 of his works publicly, and he will also have the opportunity to work alongside other tracks (like the video production and drama tracks!) to bring some of his work to life.

I'm telling you, this is going to be amazing—I definitely wish I had been able to be a part of something like this when I was in high school! If you know anyone age 14-18, send them on to www.worshipartscentral.com/message-team to get them plugged in with this awesome experience.

JC Awakening 2011: Banning Liebscher Part 1

2011-08-07T22:43:00.006-04:00

Banning Liebscher spoke during the afternoon session (following Kim Walker-Smith) the first day of the Jesus Culture Awakening 2011 Conference. His message centered on leadership and our callings, and was, to be expected, packed full of challenges and truth.

His message conveyed that when we were saved, we became the head, not the tail, meaning we are all meant to be leaders in some way or another. He challenged everyone present in Allstate Arena in Chicago to remember that what happens in America is dependent on our leadership.

Banning said a problem he has seen is that many of us would be content to simply sit back and believe that we will not be a part of anything, say, a revival, and that we think it is acceptable to just "be along for the ride" with Christ.

Wow. Talk about a slap in the face. I can, unfortunately, say that the majority of my days I have settled for just going through the motions and routines without actually diving into any pursuit of fulfilling my calling or being a leader. I so often think, "Oh, that day will come...but for now I can't do much." Lately I definitely think about it often, and plan a lot, but so little of the time do I actually take action into real pursuit of the calling God has for me.

But I want to be different. I want to actually pursue God every moment, and that choice has to be made every day. I need to take ownership of my identity as a "co-laborer" in Christ and actually WORK more for His kingdom!

So, how about you?

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Jesus Culture Awakening 2011: Kim Walker-Smith

2011-08-06T22:35:00.000-04:00

Kim Walker-Smith kicked off the Awakening 2011 conference in Chicago's Allstate arena with a concise, power-packed message. She shared what has been the theme of her life and what Peter and I have heard in many of her youtube videos (like this one) before hand, but hearing it again was fantastic and challenging.

Fighting for a constant connection with God throughout the week is not only important, but essential. She said we should never live without it. Even if you don't always feel it, you need to know and be aware that His presence is there, and that alone will completely change how you live your life.

Fighting and pressing into God throughout the week empowers us to experience corporate worship on Sundays that goes above and beyond what we expect or consider "normal" now. Kim is eager for where corporate worship is headed, and is passionately longing for the day when everyone enters their sanctuaries ready to start deep and intimately praising Christ, rather than requiring anything (such as a particular type of song) to get the congregation's focus right.

Kim mentioned that she has had times and seasons where her prayer life felt dry, but she kept on diligently seeking. This truth would keep her going: "Someday I will bear the fruit of this moment." She credits this attitude and discipline for where she is today--an internationally renowned worship leader and songwriter.

Jesus took that phrase even deeper into my heart. I will bear the fruit of EVERY moment someday. I knew this as head knowledge earlier in my life, but it has taken root and I have realized every second I spend I am sowing into my future and reaping from my past. I will reap from the moments I spend in worship, from the time I invest into reading scripture, from the idle moments (ahem...hours) I have spent on Facebook. I will harvest something in my future from the encouragement I give to my friend, from the tip I give my waitress, from the words I say to my husband. I want to be mindful in every moment and be certain I am using every opportunity to bring God glory. Every moment you spend sows into a kingdom, be it Christ's Kingdom, your own, or your enemy's.

Kim Walker-Smith leading worship at Awakening

Jesus Culture Awakening 2011

2011-08-04T19:54:00.001-04:00

I'm writing right now from the parking lot of Allstate Arena and let me tell you, Jesus is here!

My husband and I drove down to Chicago yesterday and the moment we entered the parking lot, I've felt the Holy Spirit's presence like a thick joy here. It is incredible. Even from the parking lot volunteers greet you with the most sincere handshakes, smiles, "Praise God!" and "Are you ready for what He's going to do!?" exclamations.

God is moving powerfully. This gathering is nothing like the many other youth conferences and adult conferences I've been to. From the moment you walk in the door you feel Jesus. These people came for a different purpose. They did not come to salve their wounds, or to spend day the first third of the conference "getting right" with Jesus. These people didn't even come to get healed or have their problems solved. These people are here with one purpose--to seek God and give Him glory. They are seeking first the Kingdom of God, and all these things are being added unto them. It is astounding and it has opened Heaven to rain down the love and freedom of Christ!

I have been so impressed and inspired by these faithful people. The biggest thing I've noticed is unashamed worship and adoration. Seeing 30,000 hands raised in praise for entire worship sets is unbelievable. And it hits home with incredible impact when the majority of the time it is unprompted by a leader on stage (though they do that often too!!). On top of these, it happened from day one. Day one, and people are pressing in so hard and Jesus' power is being released in love, hope, and miracles.

I can't wait to share more with you about what our Great and Mighty God is doing in America and the world, starting right here in Chicago! Today has been even more incredible than yesterday. God is moving, building, and this revival is going to be birthed in our nation!

I urge you to tune in tonight at www.awakening2011.com. You can watch free from your computer. God is pouring out His power, blessing and authority and you have the opportunity to partake of it with more than 15,000 people tonight! Please, spend your evening tonight with Christ and share with me what He highlights to you!

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Other posts about Jesus Culture Awakening 2011:

Jesus Culture Awakening 2011: Kim Walker-Smith
JC Awakening 2011: Banning Liebscher Part 1
JC Awakening 2011: Banning Liebscher Part 2

God's Moving in Michigan

2011-07-13T12:02:00.003-04:00

Ladies and gentlemen, Ijust have to start this post with this exciting news.

My husband is blogging again!!

And seriously--you need to head over there and read up on the awesome things God is doing in the greater Kalamazoo area. It is inspiring and encouraging!

For example, God is pouring out His presence in powerful ways during RooTs in Paw Paw! Many kids are experiencing God's presence for the first time, or stronger than they ever have before. People are even getting healed and speaking in tongues for the first time! It is incredible to see this youth group, that started out with more youth leaders than youth, explode this summer to hosting 80+ people at a time! God is moving and reviving His people!

Then, there is the WorshipArts Camp. It started Monday, and we had some crazy adventures that day when the storm went through. Yesterday also went fabulously, and God is showing up again today!

If you love worshipping Jesus, it would be awesome to have you come out to the end of the camp for our Camp Worship Night at 7 PM! Right now the two bands we have playing are practicing; let me tell you, they sound great and it's going to be amazing time because God is always faithful to show up when we worship!

My life is full of God's blessings and I'm so delighted to be busy living it to the fullest. I am so excited to be a part of so much that He is doing! Experiencing RooTs and WorshipArts is just one small bit of His blessing in my life!

In My Mind

2011-06-13T22:45:00.001-04:00

This is my prayer in the desert
When all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in my hunger and need
My God is the God who provides
And this is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flames
And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here
And this is my prayer in the battle
When triumph is still on it's way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand
All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship
This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be emptied again
The seed I've recieved I will sow

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZlgUUeQh0CQ&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Information

2011-06-12T20:00:00.004-04:00

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I have realized lately that I enjoy researching online a lot.

I've found myself diving into many different topics, trying to find out of authors and websites actually know what they are writing about, and then examining the ideas stirred up by what I find. It's actually relaxing for me when I don't have a deadline or pressure to find certain information!

I am so thankful to live in the "Information Age" and to have access to, for example, "495,000,000 results in 0.18 seconds" when I type in the terms "what to look for in a church."

And the revolution of videos online! Wow, to be able to actually see as someone speaks on a topic? TED.com videos have been very interesting and thought-provoking. I love the concept of TED Talks--get experts in the field to share information and ideas with other experts in different fields. Crossing entertainment experts with science experts, artists with math wizzes, and musicians with technology brings even more innovation and ideas! It is just one of the many new venues that exist thanks to how "small" the world has become with technology.

There is so much knowledge available, and I want to use what is at my fingertips to be "prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect..." (1 Peter 3:15) I want to "Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth." I hope being knowledgeable in many areas will help me be "as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves."

Wearing Nothing New

2011-06-10T18:13:00.000-04:00

One of my friends posted this on facebook today, and I thought it was pretty inspiring and worth sharing. How about you? Do you shop at thrift stores?

Alen Menken Mashup

2011-06-09T08:03:00.001-04:00

Come with me now to see my world
Come run the hidden pine trails of the forest
I can open your eyes
Take you wonder by wonder
There's more to see than can ever be seen
More to do than can ever be done
So prepare for a chance of a lifetime
Be prepared for sensational news
A shining new era
Is tiptoeing nearer
Let's get down to business - to defeat the Huns!
I can go the distanceI don't care how far
Somehow I'll be strong
I know ev'ry mile
Will be worth my while.
Why should I worry? Why should I care?
It's the time of your life, so live it well!
Everybody look left, everybody look right
Everywhere you look I'm
Standing in the spotlight!Some other folks might be
A little bit smarter than I am
Bigger and stronger too (Maybe).
When I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs
Ev'ry morning to help me get large
And now that I'm grown I eat five dozen eggs
So I'm roughly the size of a barge!
It's barbaric, but hey, it's home!

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Emily Time

2011-06-08T13:02:00.001-04:00

I met with Emily at Panera to write blog posts.

We've talked the whole time.

Topics have included: small government vs. big government, Glenn Beck, Grover Cleveland, Pixar, Doctor Who, Where's George? Dollars, Vlogbrothers, ozone levels, dress codes, panera food, medicines, vlogging, old blogs and when we started blogging.

Now I believe we're going to make a vlog. (It's awkward writing while you're being videotaped.)

How's your day going?

February 16th, 1887

2011-06-07T12:05:00.000-04:00

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It is February 16th, 1887, and President Cleveland removes his coat as he walks inside. He has come before the House of Representatives, with his response to House bill number 10203, "An Act to enable the Commissioner of Agriculture to make a special distribution of seeds in drought-stricken counties of Texas, and making an appropriation therefor."

He clears his throat, and begins.

"It is represented that a long-continued and extensive drought has existed in certain portions of the State of Texas, resulting in a failure of crops and consequent distress and destitution." His gaze meets Speaker Carlisle's, and he continues. "Though there has been some difference in statements concerning the extent of the people's needs in the localities thus affected, there seems to be no doubt that there has existed a condition calling for relief; and I am willing to believe that, notwithstanding the aid already furnished, a donation of seed-grain to the farmers located in this region, to enable them to put in new crops, would serve to avert a continuance or return of an unfortunate blight."

Texas representatives Charles Stewart and James Jones sighed as Cleveland stated, "And yet I feel obliged to withhold my approval of the plan as proposed by this bill, to indulge a benevolent and charitable sentiment through the appropriation of public funds for that purpose." Another veto.

Cleveland met the gazes of the House with determination. "I can find no warrant for such an appropriation in the Constitution." Many eyes flared at his blatant disregard of their judgement, but he continued steadfastly on. "I do not believe that the power and duty of the general government ought to be extended to the relief of individual suffering which is in no manner properly related to the public service or benefit."

A few agreed, glad to see their votes which had been overpowered agreed with the President, as he went on.

"A prevalent tendency to disregard the limited mission of this power and duty should, I think, be steadfastly resisted, to the end that the lesson should be constantly enforced that, though the people support the government, the government should not support the people." Cleveland paused, letting his point settle in.

Then, he smiled, and continued on, reminding the House of this truth of the American people: "The friendliness and charity of our countrymen can always be relied upon to relieve their fellow-citizens in misfortune. This has been repeatedly and quite lately demonstrated. Federal aid in such cases encourages the expectation of paternal care on the part of the government and weakens the sturdiness of our national character, while it prevents the indulgence among our people of that kindly sentiment and conduct which strengthens the bonds of a common brotherhood."

He continued on with alternate solutions but it is interesting to note that the private sector raised much more than the government was going to give to these Texas farmers.

I Have Decided

2011-06-06T22:34:00.001-04:00

Night of worship, singing lessons from my husband, and 1 Kings 16.

Answering the Call

2011-06-04T22:46:00.000-04:00

Have you heard about what God is doing is Kansas City, MO?

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Last year, I believe, revival broke out and God showed up in some powerful ways, which is what got many people in my circles talking about the International House of Prayer (IHOP). However, their mission and vision is truly inspiring.

They aim to have "24/7 Worship with Prayer and 24/7 Works of Justice." This dedication to combine passion for fulfilling God's work constantly and the amount of administration that takes is mind-blowing and inspiring.

One aspect that caught my eye is their NightWatch ministry. This is a group of dedicated people who have changed their lifestyles to man their worship and prayer room from midnight to 6:00 AM. In one sense, out of all the ministries out there in the world, this one could seem small or insignificant. Yet God has called people to pray, and they have answered that call. Who know what dynamics their prayers have changed?

These dedicated people inspire me to fulfill whatever task God puts in my life, no matter how odd, different, or challenging it may be.

Reflections on WorshipArts

2011-06-03T08:25:00.002-04:00

It is amazing to think we have completed our fifth semester of WorshipArts. I remember when we started with just 5 students and one worship team; now we have 27 students, two worship teams, a drama team, a Beginnings team, and one photography student. Last Saturday we had our Friends and Family Worship Night and the culmination of their hundreds of hours of practice was so rewarding.

It was incredible to start the night off with a group of 8 to 12-year-olds strumming and singing away as Peter stood on the side and played along with them. One of my friends came up to me afterwards and pointed out that it was a beautiful picture of God the Father's love for us--sometimes we get off tempo and sing out of key, but He just keeps smiling at us, playing along, delighted that we are worshiping with all our hearts!

In between everything as the night went on our drama team performed 4 skits from the OneTimeBlind drama scripts, and they blew us away with simple, funny, and truth-saturated skits. It's hard to pick a favorite, but I think The Stool would be it because it really illustrates the fact that giving God control is important and not as easy as we say it is. Plus our students did a fabulous job! I also enjoyed the monoluge by "The Devil" about our memories and how shocking it is we remember TV commercial jingles and nursery rhymes, but we don't know scripture. They also performed an incredible human video (read this wiki article if you don't know what that is) that shared God's redemption for us all in a powerful, impacting, and relevant way. I will definitely share the video here when it's up!

Our team Horizon did a great job leading everyone in worship and it was phenomenal to see new and returning students go to the next level in not just their skill, but also in their passion for Christ. Finally, Genesis, our student ministry team which has traveled to multiple youth groups and bible studies this year, ended us off with an intimate and passionate time of worship. I've been privileged to see these students from day one, and I must say that the word for this team is passion--their passion for excellent music and their passion for Christ has skyrocketed!

It is a blessing, privilege and honor to be the wife of the man God has called to lead this ministry experience training program for youth. Next semester we are expanding to teaching a full photography track, video production track, and message track (writing) all with the purpose of training youth to use their gifts to get plugged in with their local churches.

(Technically though the semester is done, we are preparing for the WorshipArts festival and Horizon and Genesis are playing, as well as the drama group will share their performances. Check out the facebook event!)

Closing The Book

2011-06-02T09:25:00.001-04:00

I have realized I have a bit of a chronic problem.

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I don't finish reading books.

I think this may have started the year of our engagement. We were recommended A LOT of books, and I wanted to get all the knowledge I could before we got married. So I started just about every book that was recommended to us, and I dragged Peter along on the word absorption adventure with me. So we started Love & Respect. And I Promise. And I Promise You. And about 3 other books related to more specific aspects of marriage.

Then we got married, and the plague of starting to read or reread books and leaving them unfinished continued. Too Busy Not To Pray, A Wrinkle in Time, Emily of New Moon, Foundation, As Sure As the Dawn, and Hooked: New Science on How Casual Sex Is Affecting Our Children.

Wow. That's a lot of books.

I definitely feel like I get the gist of a book before it is over, but I know I'm missing out on a lot. Maybe it's my constantly full and changing lifestyle? Maybe it's that I find enough to apply to my life that I just stop before I get overwhelmed or forget things? Maybe I'm just suffering from the short attention span of my generation?

I don't know what the reason is, but I definitely want to finish more of what I start.

Writing Rebirth

2011-06-01T21:17:00.003-04:00

I think I need to get better at writing.

I need to make it a priority. And I think that means I need to plan. But planning takes time and discipline, and right now I don't feel like I have an excess of either of those to fuel my thoughts of penning (or typing) more about my life.

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However, today is a great day to start writing. Today, my friends, is June first. First's are new and clean, they are usually untouched and full of optimism. I've got a clean slate, the reset button has been pressed, I've just eaten a new mushroom in Mario and booya, I've got another life and I can last longer.

Would it be crazy of me to try to post a blog post every day this month? Could I stick with it? Am I going to fail after day two like my last attempt and just get discouraged again?

Maybe if I'm less particular about it. Maybe if I just WRITE, instead of being dissatisfied and putting myself down for not writing something stellar, I just share what I'm thinking, and tell you what I'm doing.

Is that simplicity really worth writing? And more importantly...is it truly worth reading?

It would take planning. I'd have to make time everyday. I did it for a few weeks back when I tried that whole 750 words thing. (We both failed, by the way. It was a good thing we stopped though because it was making us a bit irritated with each other for appearing to make writing more important than spending time together.) So I know it's possible to write every day.

I've learned about ProBlogger's 31 Days to Build a Better Blog, and I might start looking into that, because I want more purpose to my writing. I want to make an impact, and they have tips to get your words out there. But I know I won't always stick to those rules.

Plus, June means summer, and summer is busy, but not as busy as the school year. So maybe it'll be easier for me!

What about you? What are you going to change in your life this month?

UAOAL Update

2011-05-10T20:43:00.004-04:00

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Updated 8/7/11

Today, due to lack of time and motivation, I've decided to bless you all with an update on my Ultimate Accomplishment of Awesome List. (The goal is to get all of this done before next January!)

I have (roughly) 21/36 completed, so that is about 58%! I'd say I'm doing pretty good!

My List:

Get Anna K. (or her photo style) pictures taken of Peter and I Done! (though if Anna reads this and wants to take pictures of us, she's VERY welcome to do so) =)
Make a vlog and have at least 12 videos by next January 2/12 Done!
Get our office functioning and cleaned Done!....and now it needs to be done again!
Send someone an anonymous prayer/prophetic word
Own three more Munchkin games/expansion packs 1/3 Done!
Thy three main dish recipes I've never cooked before 3/3 Done! 5/3/11
Be recorded singing a worship song
Go to IHOP or Bethel (EDIT: Going to see Jesus Culture, Hillsong, Bill Johnson etc. is probably going to count for this in August!) Done! (Jesus Culture Awakening 2011)
Leave someone an obnoxiously large tip Done! on 5/11
Write 20 blog posts (at least) 22/20 Done!
Get coffee with my girl friends more (ideally at least 3 different girls a month) Begun!
Memorize 10 verses (key, important, powerful ones, not cheesy easy ones) Begun!
Play catchphrase with at least 8 people
Prank someone
Play bass more Begun!
See a good live orchestra perform
Look amazing and go to a nice restaurant
Hold a baby Done!
Visit my friends at IWU
Visit my friends at Ferris
Finish reading a fiction book I've never read before Done!
Finish reading the Bible Begun!
Make something at Art Bayou Done on 1/15!
Make a quilt
Be in a crazy picture Done!
Work out 105 days this year (beginning end of December '10) Begun! 1/21: 44 Days completed!
Work out 210 days this year
Bless my neighbors
Make 4 videos for work
Save a lot of money Begun!
See at least 4 live theater productions 2/4 Done! (Annie Get Your Gun, The Importance of Being Ernest)
Catch up with someone I haven't talked to in a long time
Do something amazing with Emily
Give someone something I've wanted to for a long time
Encourage someone Done!
Get better at cutting hair Begun! 4 hair cuts done this year!

I'm a Nerdy Spender

2011-04-27T20:45:00.001-04:00

Have you heard of Dave Ramsey?

If not, he's this guy who got rich through hard work and a bit of luck young, then got deep into debt and went back to square one, and learned how to build wealth without any debt. Now he teaches people how to have "Financial Peace" and build wealth for themselves, without debt.

Peter has been aware of Dave Ramsey's methods since he was a teenager, and respects Dave Ramsey very much. So he has been determined to do life without debt of any sort. I praise God that I can say that both Peter and I have never been in debt!

via

So this past week, we got a hold of the Financial Peace University DVDs and have just begun watching the sessions, because I've never seen them. All along I've been supportive of this plan, and had thought I understood the basics, but watching the series together has been so good!

One of the things Dave talks about is how usually in a marriage, someone is a spender, and someone is a saver. Well it didn't take us long at all to determine Peter is the saver--he is always talking about saving up for big things for the business and the big giveaway that he is the saver is that he is NOT a spender; he'd much rather chill or get something small than go out and spend money. While I on the other hand, could be happy spending (and giving away) money every day all day long!

Dave also classifies spouses as usually fitting into two other categories: one is the "Nerd" and one is the "Free Spirit." The Nerd comes up with the budget, because they are the number-person, and the Free Spirit then gets to edit it, because they need to be involved and a part of the process, but asking them to crunch numbers and plan details is like asking an acrylic artist to build a plane.

Because of the extreme way they were presented to me, Peter and I figured he was the Nerd (it also seemed like the manly, in charge of the house role) and I was the Free Spirit. However, now that we've been married for 10 months, gone through multiple attempts at budgeting, and watched Dave Ramsey explain the roles, we've realized I'm definitely about 3/4 Nerd, and Peter is definitely only about 1/4 Nerd, meaning that makes me the Nerd of the house. (Also--I love making spreadsheets. This should have been a major clue early on.)

So this week I've written up a budget, and we are going to go with it this month. Besides dealing with a few fears that tried to rear their ugly heads, the crazy thing is I actually liked writing it up! I really hope we can stick with it, because once we get our money in order, we'll be on the road to retiring as millionaires (wildly enough, that might not be an exaggeration!).

The awesome thing is that our income is at a place where we can start saving a little and still afford to go out to eat and spend money on dates. (Hehheh--that's what happens when the Spender is a Nerd!)

So, any thoughts on money managing you'd like to share?

Fruit

2011-04-13T21:17:00.000-04:00

I have been feeling a weight. It is a weight of gold, of great worth, yet heavy and still buried deep within worthless rock. It is weighing on my thoughts, my mind, my body.

So many that I know who claim my faith, most definitely including myself, fall guilty of revealing this weight to me.

Christians do not take God seriously.

Sure, most of us don't go around graffitting profanity on overpasses. But many who claim Christ as Lord do not let Him run their mouth--including myself.

If thinking about another person with lust is the same severity to Christ as committing adultery, then isn't my offhand, unthinking, but disrespectful comment to my husband (or co-worker, or professor, or peer) equal to outright defiance or rebellion?

How often do I let my emotions be my Lord instead of letting Jesus be my Lord?

Fellow believers, your every action either testifies of Christ's power and authority in your life, or tells of what master you truly serve.

A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. Matthew 7:18

Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit. John 15:2

Not everyone who says to Me, 'Lord, Lord,' shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven. Matthew 7:21

If you keep yourself pure, you will be a utensil God can use for his purpose. Your life will be clean, and you will be ready for the Master to use you for every good work. 2 Timothy 2:21

Friday Afternoon - 750 Words

2011-04-02T15:51:00.001-04:00

Plopped down on our checkered couch, my husband and I smile at one another.

The day has gone well so far, despite the potentially dismal circumstances. We just returned home from our little brother Aiden's funeral. God's presence, hope and joy are continually near everything relating to Aiden, and He was incredibly evident through every moment of the service.

A few days earlier, Peter was teaching at WorshipArts, and I had decided to stay home and have some alone time. I had been in a bit of shock, trying to grasp the whys of my little brother's nearly life-long sickness and young death. But God met me that night, and opened my eyes to His overwhelming hope and truth through writing it all out. (You can read it here, if you're interested.)

That evening, God pulled out my writing abilities from deep within and reminded me of the gift he had given me in the days to follow that posting. I have had probably close to fifty different people come up to me and share that what I wrote impacted them and drew them into the moment and the revelation of God's perspective on Aiden's life.

So Hubs and I, sitting on our first-apartment-craigslist-find couches and resting after hours of talking and being on our feet after the funeral, take a moment to talk it over.

Peter agrees with the general consensus that I need to write, a lot more. So before we settled in to watch some of the third season of 24, he pulls up a pretty awesome website.

It's 750words.com, and it is a simple site designed a few years ago to encourage people to write everyday. The inspiration came from a book called The Artist's Way, which has one exercise that encourages everyone to write three pages every morning. The idea is to just write whatever comes to your mind, to write out your stream-of-consciousness. As Peter and I explored the site, we saw that the site gathers stats about what you write, and there are scores and badges to motivate you to keep up with it. Peter, being the awesome husband that he is, signed up to do a challenge with me to write every day in April. If we accomplish this, we decided that we could buy a Munchkin Expansion pack. And whoever misses a day become responsible for doing the dishes for a month. (Which is quite the motivation!)

After we explored, we settled in to watch Jack Bauer save the world. I must say, it was a pretty great afternoon.

Aiden

2011-03-29T20:29:00.003-04:00

The sun is warming the window sill, and a cool breeze is tiptoeing gracefully through the small, warm room. Many different faces are gathered close. Some are age-worn and garnished with wrinkles gained from years of wisdom and decades of smiles; others are young and smooth, waiting for life to record it's events in creases to come. Some eyes are bright with the intensity of the moments that are passing, others are weary from only a few hours sleep in days, but all are eagerly fixed on the littlest in the room.

Together each one in this cozy room is connected with a bond of love and the continuing of three generations, all gathered close. When they are together, like iron and flint, laughter will spark at least a little, no matter the situation. Like the ocean and the moon, conversation ebbs and flows, swayed by the littlest of these.

Unlike the average bedroom, this little one's crib is surrounded by wires, tubes, and monitors. This precious little one, rather then the usual toddler's collection of tools for the imagination, is surrounded by tools to preserve and monitor life.

He is weak and worn. Sprawled out, he is fighting for his every breath. This boy, so close to our hearts, is fighting Alper's Syndrome, a mitochondrial disease.

I am in the room; I am a part of the youngest generation here, and I love this boy and this family. Staring down at him, I am reminded again of Meg Murry and her beloved Charles Wallace in A Wind in The Door. But I am not Meg, and this is not Charles. This is Aiden, and the only "naming" I can do is praying forth the truth that God has life for this little one.

With a mother's diligence, patience, love, and Christ-given hope, Tami is sitting inches from her little son, stroking his hair, keeping him comfortable in any little way she can. Dan is near by, one hand near Aiden and the other near his beloved wife. My husband and I are behind them, and their parents are behind us, with a few close friends gather close beside us all. His breathing has changed and his little lungs are fighting weakness, gravity, and more than I know. Only every twenty seconds or so is he able to push forth enough strength to gasp in the oxygen he needs. His beautiful, valiant heart is fighting ferociously--beating so strong we can see his chest march along as he takes the front line in this battle. Beyond all reasoning, incredibly, he continues on like this for a few hours. We go back and forth again, our tide of conversation ebbing slower, but still flowing, as he fights and we stand by to support him however we can.

A few of us step out for a moment, to find dinner for everyone because despite the battle raging, all we can do is try to continue everyday life.

Then, a whisper from the stairs--

he's gone.

For a moment, the sun is gone and we rush up, a silent wind and cloud of grey pushing us on.

I walk in, and my love grabs me close as I look at Tami holding her precious son, and Dan holding them both.

The peace in the room is so mighty the grey cloud that rushed us up is cast as far as the east is from the west.

Every check is wet, yet the hope is so strong. Aiden is finally whole, Aiden is healthy now. God keeps every promise; this son is now doing what he never did on earth--running and exploring, in heaven with our loving Lord Jesus--full of life. This truth permeates, yet also present is the grief that we have lost him for now, and we are left here with his little, still body.

Dan holds his wife, and with true adoration and tears in his eyes, says, "You're amazing." She responds in kind, and their eyes meet with such powerful hope, peace, and love. Dan continues: "I would never have thought, but this feels like when we brought our boys into the world. Tami, through you didn't bring him in, I am so thankful and proud you were the woman to send him out." The power of God's presence was indescribable. All I can think is that I am overwhelmed and blessed to call these two my parents and to be present as God comforts.

The evidence of a life well lived is here, on this battlefield where a little solider fought for life and love. He made this tight-knit family even stronger, he opened heaven to usher in more love and power where Christ revealed His Glory, he pulled us all from the monotony and weight of everyday doings to remind us of what really matters--family, friends, faith and love. Aiden, you are victorious.

After a moment, we realize in the background, the song "Happy Day" is playing. Oh Happy Day, Happy Day. Our Aiden is free at last, meeting face to face, he is Yours, Jesus, You are his. He now has endless joy and perfect peace, and his earthly pain has finally ceased.

To read more on Aiden's story: http://www.lifestorynet.com/memories/67788

Core Lies, Ungodly Beliefs, One Big God

2011-03-21T11:45:00.001-04:00

I love how big God is!

I love when God lets me see the current of His truth moving in different streams of the Church.

My church just finished a two-week series on Emotional Freedom (You can listen here if you want--just search "Emotional Freedom" in the player). The main theme is that at some point in your life, just about everyone believes a lie and makes it a part of their identity. Usually this results from an experience or series of experiences in their life.

These lies can be anything that doesn't line up with the new identity Christ has given us. Before Christ, we may have been any of this, but now that we are saved, we need to live as whole, complete, saved people--living in His redemptive power. Some of the lies that can sneak in and limit us from this are:

I am ugly
I can't do a good job
I am unlovable (No one loves me)
I am alone
I will never succeed
I have no purpose
I am stupid
I am broken
I am worthless
I am not worthy
I am dirty
I am untrustworthy
Etc.

As a response to believing these lies (none of which line up with scripture as redeemed children of God) we become afraid of being "found out" by others or staying this way forever, so we turn to controlling our situations to be "safe" and often that control creates a cycle that reinforces the belief.

For example, in my life, I've always wanted to be the best and do everything perfectly. If I do not achieve my ideal of perfection, then I feel like a failure. This is the lie that I struggle with believing the most: "I am a failure." It is amazing how deep this lie goes, and how easily the enemy uses me and encourages me to be manipulative based on this fear. But over the past many months God has been peeling the layers of this onion of a lie back and and am slowly fearing less and believing the truth that "I am successful" and "I am good at doing things" instead--that is the truth of who God made me to be! When I walk in my true identity, I am 100% more effective at serving Christ and sharing His attributes wherever I go.

My family and my church were exposed to this concept of ungodly beliefs, or believing lies that effect your identity and actions, since I was quite small--I don't remember life before I knew about these concepts. I was taught them early in youth group. Our source was Restoring the Foundations, a ministry started by Chester and Betsy Kylstra in 1992 (http://www.restoringyourlife.org/about/our-history.html).

The fantastic thing is just today, one of my dear friends, Anne, posted that she is reading a book called "Core Lies." A quick skim through the e-book and I can see that this is exactly the same truth coming from a completely different source!! Anne and I go to different churches in different streams, and I don't know that she's ever heard me talk about this concept... And looking at the author, it looks like they have never even heard of the Kylstras. But God is so big, and He reveals His spirit and His truth EVERYWHERE.

I love it!

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Hey, It's Another What My Life Looks Like Post!

2011-02-23T20:24:00.000-05:00

Wow.

Life is FULL! And life is amazing.

How about an average week at the Webb residence?

Monday: Every morning it takes me a while to get ready, and then I pray, and that equals my "Morning Routine." Then I work for 6 or so hours everyday, and Peter spends the day on WorshipArts (WA) and he teaches a lesson, then we host MoNiWoNi (Monday Night Worship Night) at our house in the evening, which is awesome.

Tuesday: Morning Routine, I exercise with Emily, Work, Peter works on WA and then at 4 he arrives at New Day to set up for WorshipArts Worship Teams. That goes until 9:30 PM, with clean up.

Wednesday: Morning Routine, Work, Peter's lessons day! He teaches until 4 PM, and then we go out to Paw Paw for WorshipArts Beginnings which we set up for at 5 PM, and we get out of there after WorshipArts Drama at about 9:30 PM.

Thursday: Morning Routine, I exercise with Emily, Work, Peter does more WorshipArts prep, then usually this night we either recover after the past three days and just spend time together, run errands, or hang out with people. Occasionally we attend some sort of event or play, etc.

Friday: Morning Routine, Work, Peter does more WorshipArts prep, then usually this night we either recover after the past three days and just spend time together, run errands, or hang out with people. Also lots of events happen on Fridays so these fill up.

Saturday: Morning Routine, I try to exercise with Emily (I've been sick or gone so much it hasn't happened much), and then WorshipArts Worship Teams--Peter and occasionally I get there to set up at 10:30 AM and we don't get done until 4:15ish!

Sunday: Morning Routine, then we have the honor to give two beautiful people rides to New Day, so we grab them on our way to 2nd service. Once a month Peter does sound so we are there for both services. Afterwards we often take a nap and then we are trying to attend Dwell (Dwell is New Day's Young Adult Community) a few Sundays a month at least, but often we just need another night off.

So, as you can see, this would explain the lack of blog posts and vlogs. I'm pretty swamped! I have so many things I'd love to write about as I go through my day, but when I finally get time to write, I'm usually drawing a blank on anything other than simple processing of my day, or week, or however long it's been since I've written. This definitely isn't as creative and I want to and know I can be, so I barely every actually write.

But I've been thinking lately about how insanely busy my life is... and so it just spilled out.

And get this--we do it all with one car.

Which is probably why I haven't been to the grocery store in weeks.

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The Ultimate Accomplishment of Awesome List -- Webb Style

2011-01-08T15:46:00.006-05:00

Updated 1/21/11!

In an effort to make the most of this year, Peter and I have joined the throngs of cool people and have made our own Ultimate Accomplishment of Awesome Lists (credit to my awesome sister for the idea). We hope to complete these in the next year! (Also good to know: we made them separately and then showed the to each other.)

My List:

Get Anna K. (or her photo style) pictures taken of Peter and I
Make a vlog and have at least 12 videos by next January 1/12 Done!
Get our office functioning and cleaned
Send someone an anonymous prayer/prophetic word
Own three more Munchkin games/expansion packs
Thy three main dish recipes I've never cooked before 1/3 Done!
Be recorded singing a worship song
Go to IHOP or Bethel
Leave someone an obnoxiously large tip
Write 20 blog posts (at least)
Get coffee with my girl friends more (ideally at least 3 different girls a month) Begun!
Memorize 10 verses (key, important, powerful ones, not cheesy easy ones) Begun!
Play catchphrase with at least 8 people
Prank someone
Play bass more
See a good live orchestra perform
Look amazing and go to a nice restaurant
Hold a baby
Visit my friends at IWU
Visit my friends at Ferris
Finish reading a fiction book I've never read before Done!
Finish reading the Bible Begun!
Make something at Art Bayou Done 1/15!
Make a quilt
Be in a crazy picture
Work out 105 days this year (beginning end of December '10) Begun! 1/21: 44 Days completed!
Work out 210 days this year
Bless my neighbors
Make 4 videos for work
Save a lot of money Begun!
See at least 4 live theater productions
Catch up with someone I haven't talked to in a long time
Do something amazing with Emily
Give someone something I've wanted to for a long time
Encourage someone
Get better at cutting hair Begun! 1 hair cut done this year!

And here is Peter's list:

Conduct gospel music with a vocal ensemble or choir singing
Play all of the munchkin expansions
Write and record an original worship album
Write a love song for my wife
Learn the Violin
Attend a Worship Conference
Install shelves in the living room
Play my board game with at least 8 people
Keep Better Records
Memorize 25 Psalms
Learn one Brass Instrument
Start and Finish a new TV show
Fully fund our Emergency fund Begun!
Finish making my board game Begun!
Learn to use MIDI better Begun!
Learn the Clarinet
Finish an axis and allies game
Host an all night worship service
Play a really nice grand piano for an hour
Learn to play Dungeons and Dragons
Convince my best friend to practice drums
Finish Doctor Who
Buy Nice Jewelry for my wife
Play Duel of Ages
Read 3 Asimov books
Have a poker tournament

Our goal is to make vlog post about many, if not all, of these accomplishments! I'm pretty excited about using the new camera we got for this--it's going to be so much fun!

What do you want to do this year?

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Emotional Needs Part 2

2010-12-05T18:20:00.004-05:00

Everyone has emotional needs, and according to Willard Harley, one sure way to take excellent care of your significant other is to learn their emotional needs and become an expert at them. You also need to discover your emotional needs and communicate them to your love so they can become an expert at meeting your needs as well. The result, at least in my marriage, has been fantastic: a truly fulfilling relationship.

Harley does a wonderful job explaining the basics of the top 10 most common emotional needs in his book, "I Promise You" and I will do my best to summarize them adequately. (To be honest, I wish I could quote directly for you, but I'll do my best not to violate copyright laws here.) Harley suggests this parameter for finding your emotional needs--if you "crave" something, then it should be included on your list. Also, if something "frustrates" you when you don't get it, that is a good indicator it is important to you.

Affection: "The need for affection is a craving for the expression of care in words, hugs, kisses, cards, gifts, and courtesies."

Affection conveys value: "security, protection, comfort, and approval." It uses actions and words to express the idea that the individual is cared for, both to their needs and wants, as well as showing that their problems are important. It displays commitment. Though a hug, a card or flowers, etc., any of those key aspects of a loving relationship can be communicated. From what I've observed, affection can be communicated before marriage in many God-honoring ways, and I think the list makes it pretty obvious of specifics. If this is one of your top emotional needs, it can also be helpful to make a list of specific things you personally find affectionate. For example: greet me with a hug, hold my hand when we are walking to places, get the door for me, help me clean up after a meal, etc.

Sexual Fulfillment: "The need for sexual fulfillment is a craving for sexual experiences."

Some can limit this as fairly obvious to describe, however, Harley made an excellent distinction: "Sex and affection are often confused, especially by men. This distinction should help you: affection is an act of love that is nonsexual and can be given to and received from friends, relatives, children, and even pets with absolutely no sexual connotation. However, if the act of love is done with a sexual motive, or has sexual overtones, it's sex, not affection." Harley goes on to explain some specific examples that could clue you into this needs, and how it actually can "dilute your Love Bank deposits" if you get fulfillment from other areas. God has marked this need as very important, and the act of sex (and acts with sexual overtones) as very powerful and intimate. Because of how valuable, powerful and intimate it is, before marriage, this need must be handled very carefully. It is very valid and important, as important as any other emotional need. It has also been made clear in scripture that sexual acts are reserved for those protected and bound by the covenant of marriage. In your relationship, it is highly likely at least one of you will have this has your #1 or #2 emotional need. I urge you to seek God and those in spiritual authority over you for ways to value this need without violating God's principles. (If you have gone too far [and nearly everyone does in some way], seek His forgiveness and find accountability so you can stay strong from now on!)

Those two needs are commonly in the top five for women and men respectively. It is certainly true that affection is super important for me--when I read that description I gasped and got very excited. I also felt very relieved, because under the five love languages, I would have needed basically all 5, but they all fit under the one need of affection. I would say it was in that moment I was won over to this way of thinking! (Definitely a sign this is basically my numba one need, huh? =)) And judging by our culture alone, it seems that sexual fulfillment is quite high for most men.

Next time I hope I can get into a few more than two of the needs!

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Emotional Needs

2010-11-23T21:27:00.002-05:00

Peter and I read many books during our 13-month engagement. One however, stood out above the rest; in fact it seemed to summarize the rest and add more clarity and details. "I Promise You" by Willard Harley is the engagement version of "His Needs, Her Needs" and it was amazing! In my opinion, it takes "The Five Love Languages" to a level that is much more applicable to actual interaction between a couple. During our Honeymoon, it gave us names for ways to communicate love with each other so much easier than "physical touch" or "quality time." We have been so fulfilled emotionally in our relationship and I credit much if it to this book.

The basic concept is this illustration of how a love relationship works. Every person has a "love bank" and the way the people in their life act either makes deposits into this back (causing happiness/satisfaction/love) or withdrawals (causing unhappiness/dissatisfaction/dislike). A romantic relationship will start out with attraction, (and that can even be so strong it feels like instant love) but what makes the relationship last is the deposits the partner makes into the relationship--which essentially turns it from an attraction to love.

Harley identified 10 main ways that men and women receive the largest deposits. In his experience most people fall into these categories (he does encourage finding others for yourself if these don't fit you): Affection, Sexual Fulfillment, Conversation, Recreational Companionship, Honesty and Openness, Physical Attractiveness, Financial Support, Domestic Support, Family Commitment and Admiration.

Your top 5 or 6 are the most important to maintaining your romantic relationship. If you are only having one or two met a relationship can survive but is usually not very solid. You're goal then, is to learn your partner's top emotional needs and become an expert in them. Notice--you often have to LEARN them, because in nearly every case most of your most important emotional needs don't line up with your partner's needs. That's completely OK and in my opinion God designed it that way. (There seems to be a general trend that maintaining a relationship, with anyone, takes work, but the rewards are so great!)

What I've found is that there is so much wisdom and blessing in thinking about a relationship this way, but the wording of his books is very marriage-worded. This has been a put-off to my friends who are in serious relationships but who aren't in the place where talking about marriage is frequent (I respect their decision to wait on the topic and understand the situations, FYI). So what I'd like to do is take a couple posts to explain the emotional needs and apply them to dating/courting in a God-honoring way.

Until then, what is your first impression of this idea? Have you heard of these before? Have you read either of these books?

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NaBloPoMo, My Absence, and Encouragement

2010-11-21T20:55:00.008-05:00

So here's what's been up:

I failed at NaBloPoMo. Day 2. I'm not proud of it, but my consolations are 1) I completed it last year and 2) I'm married and have a full life right now. Sorry to let you down, but that's the deal.

My sister started blogging. She's amazing. And honestly, I feel quite outdone by her. I also discovered a few other really good bloggers who I happen to know personally in the last few months. To put it bluntly, I've been having a case of...not-wanting-to-write-because-others-are-better-than-me syndrome. It isn't really blog envy...just a bit of a shaken confidence maybe? For very bad reasons I know. These people do with their blog what I've really wanted my blog to be. And they do it quite well, seemingly effortlessly. Since writing that way isn't easy for me, and since I have practically NO time, I just gave up these past few weeks.

However, two awesome things happened on the same day that really encouraged me. In my inbox I got an email I never expected to get--an offer from a company to either host a give-a-way on my blog or for me to review one of their products. That was super encouraging--especially when it came when my blog hadn't been updated in over a week. I've thought a lot about it, and I haven't replied yet (oh...bad job on my part...I really value prompt email responses...whoops.) but I'm leaning towards not doing it at this point in time. I'm too small to risk the "she sold out" label. Plus it seems a bit lame anyways.

The second thing was a very encouraging comment from Stove on a post that I felt was a bit embarrassingly boring, commonplace, and uncreative. (I was comparing it to afore mentioned awesome bloggers. Comparing isn't biblical, FYI, and doesn't make you feel good at all.) Thanks for the comment. That meant a lot.

So, here I am, back again and hoping to "feed the internets" (-my sister) with what I have to offer--a humble meal that isn't all good for you and isn't all bad. Like fried chicken with...veggies.

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Recap

2010-11-02T21:44:00.003-04:00

This morning, I had trouble getting up when the alarm went off. In fact, I think I hit snooze about 3 or 4 times... After dragging myself begrudgingly out of bed, I plopped down into my chair to read the Bible and pray. This usually takes about 30 or so minutes...and I had hoped to get to work in about 25 minutes from that time. (insert sigh here) Peter helped cut my prep time down by making me eggs for breakfast (best husband EVER), and we left to drop me off at work. Thankfully I have the freedom of a flex-time work schedule, so it doesn't hurt anyone but my schedule if I get there a little later than I intended.
I had two meetings this morning which went very well, and filled up a whole sheet of paper with things I need to do. Never an empty moment here! Over lunch Peter and I went to vote. It was pretty depressing that halfway through the day I was the only 195th in my precinct to vote. Hopefully that went up considerably after about 5 PM. I went back to work until about 3, when Peter picked me up and we home in this delightfully sunny (yet too chilly for my comfort) weather. We tried to squeeze in an episode of The Office before Peter had to be back at the church at 4 for teaching WorshipArts, but our internet and netflix decided they didn't want to cooperate and we only got 10 minutes into an episode. Back to church we went, and he set up for WorshipArts, I helped him sound check and even sang with the group for a while, and then off I went to whip up some chicken and cheese quesadillas at home.
I prettied up a little bit and then back to church (so great that our apartment is less than 2 miles away!) I went to drop off Pete's dinner on my way out to the KAT drama performance. Lewis, my nine-year-old brother, was the lead in his skit and he did phenomenal! I can't wait to see him step out in the full-length productions in the coming years! My brothers-in-law, both 7 years old, I believe, were also in a skit and were quite adorable. Then the oldest drama group performed "The Fish Story" which Peter and I acted in in high school! I had no idea they were doing that show, so it was great to relive our memories and try to remember which of my friends played which roles.
Now I'm back at the church and writing my second, non-fiction, probably not that inspiring post for NaBloPoMo. A packed day can often lead to a worn out mind.

Hopefully a more intellectual, better crafted edition of Tori's Thoughts coming tomorrow! Thanks for reading!

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NaBloPoMo

2010-11-01T21:05:00.006-04:00

Ah, NaBloPoMo. You have reared your ugly yet captivating head again. Reminds me of a quote from Meet the Deedles..."You know how when you're driving and you see something flat in the road ahead, and you know you shouldn't look, but you just can't help it?" (In essence, he just called the girl he liked roadkill. When I was 9, I thought that scene was hilarious. Might not be so funny if this is your first exposer.)

Just like roadkill, NaBloPoMo, here you are--that thing I really shouldn't look at, should stare at, probably shouldn't investigate, but I'm going to anyway.
To the few of you who don't know what this is, NaBloPoMo stands for National Blog Posting Month. The goal is to post every day for a month solid. I amazingly pulled this off last year, and I was pretty proud. So despite my lack of time, my desire to beat this challenge (and to write more often) is stronger.
I'm not going to promise wonderfully thought-out, intellectual, challenging, humorous perfection, but I am going to aim to write something about my life, my faith, my thoughts or my day for the next 3o days. A month is always interesting to look back on, and you will certainly know more about me and what I do at the end of these two fortnights, which is a great goal in itself. And who knows, in the end the result may be I become a better writer as well!

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Games

2010-10-26T20:30:00.000-04:00

Peter and I love playing games! Board games, card games, party games, strategy games and even Internet games are all up our alley. It's been great to spend so much quality time together over games and having friends over to play games is great fun! We actually keep a scoreboard on the white board in our kitchen of wins for us and anyone who plays with us. It's been a lot of fun! I thought it'd be fun to take a look at some of our favorites, in no particular order:
Dutch Blitz

We love this fast paced card game! It's pretty simple and completely addicting. You stack up by color and number in the center, have three columns you can build down in like solitaire, and a stack you have to empty (by placing in the middle or your three columns) to win! Normally with just two players it can be very slow, but Peter and each take two colors (so enough cards for four players) and it works really well.
Bananagrams

Bananagrams is what happens when you combine a word scramble and scrabble. You start with a handful of letters and the first to use every letter to make connecting words says "peel" and everyone takes another letter tile until they are all gone. The person to use every letter in their pile first wins! You can rearrange every word if you want in order to get them all to fit. It's fun to see what spills out of peoples minds--and the random words people get excited about being able to spell. One of my favorites was when "gorilla" and "zoo" crossed. =)Settlers of Catan

Settlers is a strategy game where you collect resources to expand your colonies and many actions give you victory points. I didn't like this game when I was younger, but Peter has always liked it and so I gave it a try again after we got married. Turns out I love playing it--especially 2 player! It was interesting to discover, however, that my winning two-player strategy did not work with more than 2 players...
Dicecapades! and Catch Phrase are some other favorites, and we are hoping to purchase a very fun and interesting strategy card game, Dominion, soon!
What games do you enjoy?

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Vision

2010-10-19T21:36:00.003-04:00

What are you most passionate about? If you could do anything, what would you do? What is the focus of your life?

These are questions that mull around in the back of my mind. Why did God make me? What does He want me to accomplish? What is the vision for my life? Right now, I feel like I can't quite see exactly where God wants my life to be going. Every time I've prayed about it, or asked others to pray for me about this, the result has been big--and vague. "God has huge plans for your life!" "God is going to take what you see your life being and make it so much bigger than you can imagine!" "You are a leader and you are going to influence people!" "Don't settle on second rate or too small!"

All these wonderful, encouraging things that can be found true by searching scripture or looking at my actions, but not clear direction. So then I think about what I really love doing.

I love being with friends, and my favorite situations are one on one, talking about life, problems, and solutions to those problems. I love sharing and receiving wisdom so much, and anything about God is a favorite topic of mine.
I also like taking this to a larger setting--like sharing at a youth group or my college group about what God is teaching me.
Then the other top thing I love doing is making things--creative crafts. I really love working with items, like 3D artwork--ie. three things I've done lately: making combinations of buttons into magnets, painting pottery, or decorating a masquerade mask.
I also enjoy creating logos and graphic art--I've designed a bunch of brochures and sermon series at work.
Writing has always been a passion of mine and I have been told I'm not that bad at it, so it definitely makes the list.
Another interest is theatre, mainly from the directing/technical standpoint, but acting too.

But I don't know where God wants me to focus... and who knows, there may be something completely different that God wants me to do that I'll be even more passionate about then this stuff!

Though at times I feel frustrated and clueless about the direction of my life, wise people around me have offered some great input. First off, my friends have reminded me that I have only been married just over 3 months. My marriage is so important and being the best wife I can be IS significant. My job takes up the majority of my time, and it truly is rewarding to serve my church with my gifts. I really am blessed that my work is so meaningful and that it has a great work environment!

Finally, God has been putting this call on my heart to pray for well over a year. This summer I started praying first thing every morning, and it has been so rewarding! I am hoping to do more intercessory prayer (prayer for others, rather than just the things in my life) as well. When I ask God what He wants me to do, "pray" is generally the answer, so I am slowly making that a bigger part of my life. I'll admit, sometimes this has been discouraging to hear because I'm so hungry for a detailed strategy for my life. Prayer can sometimes seem "boring" or "small." But God has been answering my prayers is very visible ways--and I am learning more and more about it's value, and how huge it really is.

So for now, my "vision" is to be the best wife, church administrator, and pray-er I can be!

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50 Days

2010-10-12T22:05:00.001-04:00

I'm a bit shocked.

It's been 50 days since my last post. My apologies!

Here's what's up with my life!

Marriage...
...is going excellently! Peter and I are clearly God-matched and it is beautiful. We try to honor each other always and it pays off. Even when we get tired or cranky, we are keeping our eyes on putting each other first, and when we stumble in that, God has given us grace for each other. These past three and a half months have been awesome!

Work...
...is great! I love my job. For those of you who don't know, I was promoted to Administrator at my church when I came back to work after getting married. Every day I have to do something different, and because of the size of our church I get to wear a lot of different hats--Secretary, Editor, Webmaster, Social Networker, Graphic Designer, Marketer, Event Planning, Accountant, Snack Bar Stocker, Gopher, Techie, Video Film & Editing, etc. etc.! Definitely keeps me on my toes!

WorshipArts...
...is also going really well! Peter leads this program for middle school and high school students, where he teaches "worship and ministry education." If you haven't been already, you should totally check out the website, www.worshipartscentral.com. We have 16 students, divided into 3 bands, and it keeps Peter very busy! On top of the group lessons, Peter also teaches about 7 students private lessons. We were praising God this week because we realized his 20+ hours of actual teaching time a week is earning him the equivalent of working full-time at a minimum wage job! Meaning he won't have to get another job!! This is a huge answer to prayer!

After those three categories, I don't have too much other time. I've been trying to see friends occasionally, and I'm slowly learning how to take care of a home. My current personal struggle has been finding out how to do everything from a mindset of peace instead of striving. I'm trying to figure out the balance between living life to the fullest by spending my time with people I love and on things I'm passionate about, and taking care of responsibilities. I'm learning it isn't right to put dishes and laundry above quality time with loved ones...but I know those things still need to get done... It's quite the balance to try and find!

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Memory Book

2010-08-23T08:00:00.002-04:00

On our honeymoon in South Haven, we stumbled upon this collection of books in MacDonald's Drug Store along the main street:

These are from the Write It Down! Journals series, and they are pretty amazing for keeping track of whatever you might want! I found out that there are 63 titles (thanks to Desperately Seeking Deals, also previous picture sour ce), with topics ranging from vacations, pets, dieting, and devotions, to name a few!

The journal that Peter got me is called "Memories: Our Family Journal."

I really like the format: On one side of the page is a spot for who is writing the entry and the date, and then the rest of that side of the page is divided between these 6 prompts: "News/Weather/Happenings & Events:", "Today I/We:", "Good things that happened to me/us today:", "I/we are looking forward to (Plans):", "My/Our concerns are:", and "Special thoughts, favorite moments, ideas:". At first I was using them a lot, and now I just write and use them as a suggestion. The back of the page has just this prompt, "Family Notes:" so it is just a page for writing whatever you want.

The amazing thing is that Peter and I have worked together (him reminding me and giving me the awesome incentive of new pens for being consistent with it) and I have written at least a sentence every time I've written in what we call our "Memory Book"! To my credit, I only wrote less than a paragraph when I had gotten behind and was catching up on 3 or more days in one setting. I write about what we do, where we went, who we saw, and sometimes the weather and what we eat--mostly just "details" of the day, rather than my moods, thoughts, or opinions (those mostly end up here as blog posts I suppose!). I am proud to say that as of yesterday I have written for every day since our wedding!

I'm hoping that eventually I can turn some of our more eventful days into blog posts so you can get more of a glimpse into my life, especially now that I will be able to flip through the pages and easily remember our adventures!

Do you keep a journal? If so, what kind of journal is it?

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ACTS Prayer

2010-08-20T19:30:00.002-04:00

Wow! I can't believe how much time has passed since I last updated. There isn't the nice satisfaction of posting a blog post to the internet when you write a post in word first, so the incentives to write have been a little less apparently! (Not to mention I'm pretty busy!)

As I promised in the last post, I am going to cover the ACTS pattern for prayer, that I was first introduced to in the book "Too Busy Not To Pray." I have been writing out all my prayers that I use with this pattern and it has been helpful for staying focused and it is cool to look back on what I'm talking to God about!

To begin your time in prayer, you start with Adoration. This is when you praise God for who He is and the great things He does. A suggestion for inspiration on this topic is reading some of the many praise chapters in Psalms. Personally I've noticed that meditating and declaring how holy God is really helps me focus in on His glory and truly adore Him. Often I find my self writing or saying "You are Holy, Holy, Holy!" over and over again, and I often get that feeling of being in the presence of something truly awe-inspiring when I focus this way, which is amazing.

Next is Confession. In the book Hybels emphasis how powerful it is to be specific with your confessions and how it can help you truly change faster. (As Hybels says, it gets old real fast to repent of the same sin a few days or weeks in a row and that can help you be aware and work on changing!) For example, rather than saying, "I am sorry for not treating my husband well yesterday," you should name the fault--"I'm sorry for speaking sharply to my husband and putting my comfort before his needs." It has really helped me be more honest with myself and with God and to be more aware of my actions.

After confession, comes Thanksgiving. I love thanking God, so this one often slips into my prayers in the other categories too. =) It is so powerful and helps me acknowledge my blessings when I thank God for all the great things he is doing in my life! Hybels took all of his areas of life and found that they could fit into four areas in which he could give thanks: answered prayers, spiritual blessing, relational blessing, and material blessing. A cool testimony here is that within the first few days of following this pattern, I had prayed for Peter to get more private lessons students. Since then, he has had 2 more people out of the blue sign up for private lessons, and 4 more have said they are seriously considering starting lessons (and one family said they would refer Peter to another family with 4 kids)! It is so exciting to see God answer prayer!

The last item in this pattern is Supplication. This is when you ask God for whatever is on your heart. Hybels again divided his requests into categories that covered his life. First he prays for his ministry (I call this one ministry/work, so that it covers our jobs as well as our churches and the things we believe God has called us to). Then he prays for people--his friends, important or influential people, or anyone else God has placed on his heart. Next is family, which is pretty self explanatory--your immediate and extend family and their needs, be it provision, salvation, or whatever God leads.

Finally, he prays for his own personal needs. At this point you have adored God and confessed, thanked Him and prayed for others in your life. This approach often changes your perspective and attitude regarding personal requests. I have found it to be excellent and that I pray for more important things in my own life after I have this broader perspective through thinking about how great God is and the needs of others around me first.

I have found that a lot of freedom works better for me when I follow this pattern. At first I would try to write a paragraph for each topic and subtopic, which was really great, but took a lot longer than the 20 minutes I'm trying to do every morning before work. So when I have more time, I do a longer prayer, but if I'm short on minutes I simply make sure I hit each point with at least a sentence. I also don't worry as much now about making sure all my "thanks," for example, stay in the thanksgiving spot. I'm treating it more like guidelines rather than a strict form, and it has worked excellently for giving more structure to my prayer time!

Do you have a pattern you follow when you pray? What does your prayer time look like?

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“Too Busy Not To Pray”

2010-08-02T15:36:00.000-04:00

Peter and I went to the lovely UP earlier this week to Cedar Campus, a retreat center run by InterVarsity. While we were there we discovered that their book selection is excellent, and we both bought a new book as our “souvenir,” even though they really are more like investments into our lives, rather than a piece to spur nostalgia.

I choose “Too Busy Not To Pray” by Bill Hybels. Whenever I have thought about advancement in my spiritual life for the past year or more, I have been drawn to focused prayer time and the fact I need more of it in my life. Though I have taken small steps in the past to pursue this, I really haven't done much since I graduated and got married—for the understandable (but not excusable) reason that wedding preparation tends to swallow your entire schedule! In the past month, of course, life truly hasn't slowed down at all. I have felt too busy to pray as much as I feel like I should, so this book seemed like a good place to start.

Let me tell you, it has been a fantastic place to start! This book in one word: solid. Currently I am almost halfway through it, and I have learned so much about prayer and been so encouraged to push into it more!

The first three chapters are all about God—how He is the God of peace and power, how He is willing to answer our prayers, and how He is able to answer our prayers. They really set the stage for entering into prayer with the right foundational ideas in place, and I was so encouraged by his testimonies and the scriptural truths Hybels shared.

The next three chapters, which is where I am, are about the actual act of prayer—the importance of building good prayer habits, “Praying like Jesus” (an outline of the Lord's Prayer), and finally, “A Pattern for Prayer” which has been the most impacting so far personally. I have been learning practical ways to pray and to stay focused. One of the biggest things that struck me is the fact that if we want to get good at something we must make it nonnegotiable, and we must exercise good habits to obtain it. For example, take exercising or eating well—if we slack off at any point and/or don't have a solid structure for obtaining our goals, they don't happen. If we can't get fit without a structured schedule, its isn't likely we can pray powerfully and consistently without structure in our prayer life.

A specific pattern for structure in prayer that Hybels shares about is called ACTS. Because it was so helpful and impacting, I'm going to share in more detail about it in an upcoming post. For now though, have you read anything recently that encouraged you in your prayer life?

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I'm Back!

2010-07-20T20:06:00.003-04:00

Hello, internet world!

I have been long absent—thrust into the world of wedding preparations and swept away in the bliss of marriage! But ladies and gentlemen, I'm back, and I hope to inform you on my adventures this past month and hopefully develop a habit of writing here frequently.

But first, a little summary of my doings since mid June.

Wedding preparations were hectic, crazy, and wonderful. My ladies in waiting (Team Devoted Bridesmaids!) were completely fabulous. I doubt there has ever been another group of girls so fantastic at assisting their bride and pulling off a wedding that had over 400 people in attendance. There was no drama worth speaking of, and they all worked so excellently together! Each of them is soaked in the Holy Spirit and Christ shines through in everything they do, so how could anything but a smooth wedding ensue? Thank you so much Lindsay, Emily, Caitlin, Abby and Hannah—I couldn't have done it without you!

The decorations were all assembled by those willing ladies hands (bubbles and candles with ribbon, vases with sugar [cheaper than white sand!], ribbon and bells with daisies, tulle with lights, etc.), the flowers were put together by more volunteers, the food was prepared and enhanced by the amazing Cyr/Tafil clan (my best friend's family, truly my second family!) and other extra hands from my church family, the awesome music was chosen by another dear childhood friend, pictures were taken (AMAZINGLY) by two other fabulous people—truly, all of the details came together spectacularly!

And through it all Peter and my anticipation grew as we grew closer together! God was moving deeply in our hearts and every day our love has grown stronger. Our wedding was perfect, and I loved every moment of becoming Mrs. Webb! I cannot wait to write about the wonderful things God has done in my heart through the experience of preparing for the wedding and learning what it means to be a married woman.

(More pictures to come!!)

We are currently moved into our new apartment, and we are mostly settled in, except for sorting our office, which is in the cluttered state that happens to one room or another in the aftereffects of a move.

One unfortunate fact, for the sake of my blog, is that we do not have internet at our apartment. This means I probably won't be very good at staying too up-to-date on all of your wonderful lives for a while, at least until I can schedule time at a coffee place where I will read blogs. On the other hand, Peter and I have taken up hobbies that we wouldn't have done with the convenient hobby of web-surfing constantly at our fingertips. Also, we spend more time directly focusing on each other and taking care of our things, which has been so good! So I am going to try writing my posts ahead of time and uploading them when I have internet. I hope it goes well, because I have missed writing!

Until next time, dear readers,

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Wedding - 21 Days

2010-06-05T09:38:00.001-04:00

Friends, the wedding is in 21 short days.

I AM SO EXCITED!!

Things have been bustling around here getting ready for the big day. Here's some updates:

360 People have RSVPed to our wedding! It's gonna be a huge party. Holy cow.
Thankfully Gordons Food Service is saving the day with the cost of food per person being seriously affordable. However, we are no longer having ice cream.
Instead of ice cream, we are going to try and get a dance floor! Pretty excited about that!
Some lovely ladies from College & Career have stepped up to handle the food prep. Yay!
Ribbon is expensive. Definitely had no idea that would be the majority of the decorating expense.
The centerpieces have been decided and look lovely! The bridesmaids are all (miracle there, usually one or two have conflicts when we do stuff lol) coming over at 11 today and we are assembling more decor!
We had our first pre-marriage counseling meeting on Wednesday. It is in a cool setting--three couples who are engaged meet together with two married couples. We are allowed to ask questions throughout and its more of a discussion then a lecture, which is wonderful.
Trying to finish two books before the wedding--The Act of Marriage and I Promise You. Hopefully it'll happen!
Working on thank you notes--I have probably about 30+ more to send, thanks to the 20+ ladies who came to my Webb Family shower, the 40 who came to my HPA shower, and the 40+ who came to my church shower! I have been truly showered with love--thank you everyone!
I have also learned that when you use a budget, it really helps to update it constantly. And I didn't do that. Which increased our budget about $1200. Whoops...
I was pretty emotional this week, but Peter's been on my case about getting enough sleep (which for me is an obnoxiously long 8-9 hours...) and since I've been doing it I've felt so much better! Yay for an awesome fiancé!

In a nutshell, life in pretty crazy right now, but I'm trying to love every minute. =)

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There's A Party Here In Michigan

2010-06-03T10:27:00.004-04:00

For my wedding announcement at church, we said "Tori and Peter are finally getting married!" Every time I hear that I think of the song from Aladdin, and then as I listened to it today, I thought it was fun to substitute "Michigan" for "Agrabah" and "Tori and Peter" for Jasmine and Aladdin." Some of my more creative friends could rewrite other verses to make it more applicable, but I don't have time for that. Enjoy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CN4m0hDQF2o&feature=player_embedded

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Blog Journal

2010-06-03T10:19:00.000-04:00

Unfortunately It is just not going to be possible for me to continue the Theme-A-Day blog journal. I may pick it up again later but honestly with the wedding I just can't prioritize the blog like I was hoping. Thank you to everyone who was reading them and I hope you can keep reading as I start to update more (hopefully) about the wedding!

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New Layout!

2010-05-28T07:05:00.001-04:00

As you may have noticed, I've changed my blog layout! I think it is still in the fun vein (colored daises) that my last layout was in, but it is so much more clean and classy feeling.

And really, isn't this a beautiful picture?

What do you think?

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Day 17: What Irks Me

2010-05-28T07:00:00.001-04:00

Day 17: What are your pet peeves?

Two come immediately to mind--when people are hard to get a hold of, and when people aren't honest.

Unfortunately, I'm somewhat guilty of the first one...especially since about mid-April. I think with school ending and then my whole life changing and work increasing and the wedding fast approaching, I just stopped being as good at answering calls and texts.

As to honesty, it is one of my Core Values, and very important to me--I cannot stand dishonesty. I've written about what I think of honesty here, actually.

Thanks for reading! I really appreciate the comments and followings--they really encourage me! Thanks!

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Taking Care Of Business, Remember 5/27/01

2010-05-27T18:52:00.000-04:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, I have successfully gotten things done this week!

The food is nearly figured out--after talking with caterers and such, Gordon Food Service is saving the day and shall be selling us food at the lovely price of about $2.11 per guest! Fabulous.
The Tuxedos have been reserved, and our men need to go get fitted asap.
The decorations for the ceremony are going to begin to be assembled tomorrow.
I have about half of the Thank You notes from the last two showers written.
Peter is working on getting lights for the decorations.
We are making a plan for tackling flowers.

And as of yesterday, it is one month till the wedding!

I wanted to take a moment and highlight today--May 27th. Nine years ago today, I met Peter Webb. He was 10, and I was 11, and we were at church. It was after the service and us kids were waiting for our parents to pick us up from Children's ministry. While we waited they had games set up, and I was kicking butt in Connect Four. Peter played me, and I beat him, then I had to go. I don't really remember it well, but Peter does, and he says at that moment he fell head over heels for me. <3

And now, in just 30 days, I will marry this marvelous man who has pursued me for nine years. <3

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Day 16: Bad, Tori

2010-05-27T18:31:00.001-04:00

Day 16: What is my worst habit?

I guess the biggest thing is I habitually worry and fear. My first response to situations is rarely peace, trust or joy--but worry and fear. I feel like I'm just in the "acknowledging stage" of changing this, and still learning where the root of this is. I'm also really bad at being consistenly organized and not getting distracted. (I suppose these are more faults than habits...but I think it still answers the question!)

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Day 15: Before I Kick that Pail...

2010-05-27T00:41:00.001-04:00

Day 15: What is your bucket list top 5?

To be honest, I don't really know what my top 5 are, so I'm going to list 5 things that are important that I want to do:

1. Lead someone to Christ.
2. Get married to the love of my life, Peter Webb.
3. Travel to more than 2 other countries with Peter.
4. Use a calendar successfully for more than a month or two. (AKA feel & be organized)
5. Be excellent at blogging and marketing my blog. (And that it would be evident because of followers and commenters =) )

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Day 14: My Blog Spot

2010-05-26T11:45:00.002-04:00

Day 14: Take a picture of where you blog at!

Because I have a laptop, I blog just about anywhere! But usually this is where I blog from--comfy on my bed!

(Sorry for the low quality--cell phone picture due to lending my camera out!)

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Day 12: If I Could Have A Take 2

2010-05-24T21:52:00.001-04:00

Day 12: What I would change about my life if I could (my biggest regret)?

To be honest, I don't have one big, overpowering regret that haunts me. I don't even have too many little things that I wish I had done differently.

I think if I were to change anything about my life, it would be to think things through a little more before I speak and to show more kindness. I have been working on these areas in my life and I think the rewards will be great.

As I write this (one of those train-of-thought posts) the other thing I would change is prioritizing God more consistently. I wish I could say that every single day I get up, read the Bible, pray and journal before I do anything. I do pray every day, and I do read parts of scripture nearly every day, but the actual act of setting aside designated time for Christ does not happen with 100% consistency, and that I do regret.

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Day 11: Home, Sweet Home

2010-05-24T13:21:00.002-04:00

Day 11: Write about where you live and include photos.

I live in a medium sized town called Portage in Michigan that connects to a slightly larger city called Kalamazoo.

According to wikipedia, "Portage is known for its extensive network of historical parks and trails used for cycling, walking, canoeing, and other recreational activities. Since the creation of the Portage Bikeway system in 1989, the trails have expanded to over 50 miles (80 km), over five times as long as the city’s expressways." Portage has had national recognition for its bike friendliness--"With nearly 60 miles of bikeways and trails, it should come as no surprise that Portage has been designated as a Bicycle Friendly Community by the League of American Bicyclists. The city is one of only 16 communities nationwide that has received this designation for 2010, said Bill Deming, Portage parks director" (http://www.mlive.com/news/kalamazoo/index.ssf/2010/05/national_bicycling_group_recog.html) That's one of our small claims to fame!

The climate in Portage gets a heavy dose of all four seasons. We get multiple feet of snow spread out over the winter months (November to early March), beautiful 60 degree weather in spring (march to April/May), 70-90 degree summers from May/June to August, and cool 50 degree Falls from September to November.

We live in a little neighborhood nestled a few miles from the main shopping streets in Portage. Here is me in front of our house:

That's a little taste of where I come from!

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Day 10: Phobias

2010-05-24T10:34:00.001-04:00

Day 10: What are you afraid of?

Wow, what a question. I've been learning lately that I have a lot of fear in my life. I didn't realize how much of my reactions are rooted in fear and Peter has been calling me out on it lately. Next time you react negatively to something, I challenge you to ask yourself "why?" and really think about it--you might be surprised that it comes not from a truly sensible reason but actually an irrational, fearful reason. As a follower of Christ, I am not supposed to live based on fear, but based on the love of Christ. I've learned that there is a big difference between a healthy respect of something (a hot stove for example) and an unhealthy fear of something (walking out in the dark to put something in the mailbox in our safe neighborhood).

I guess my biggest fear is the unknown or dishonesty. I am afraid that the people I talk with will leave something out that is important, or that I will miss out on the truth. This belief means that I don't really think people have goodwill towards me (as Emerson Eggerichs emphasizes that most people do in Love And Respect). The Battlefield of the Mind has also been helping me realize unneeded fears that cause me to worry and have too much stress and when I finally finish it I hope I will be better equipped to biblically reclaim my thoughts and not live in fear.

Alright, on to day 11!

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Day 13: Perfect Age

2010-05-24T10:02:00.000-04:00

Day 13: What do you think is the ideal age to be?

(I'm a bit behind on posting for these questions, but if you watch out today I'll get caught up on everything! Thanks for your patience, Theme-A-Day readers!)

Seeing as I've only lived 20 years, I'm not sure yet--the majority of my life is before me! But this prompt makes me think of something two of my grandmothers have said: they feel like once they hit a certain age, they always felt that age but their body just kept aging. My Nana says that age was 16; internally she still feels like a 16 year old, even though her body continues to age. For my Great-Grandma the age was in the early 20s, if I remember correctly for both of them.

I'm wondering if that is an indicator of their perfect ages? The age where they felt like they became adults, perhaps? Or maybe it is the age that they had something life-changing happen and they feel like they stayed in that place? Maybe thats when life started to go super fast for them--that transition year from childhood, when a week feels like a year, to adulthood, when the opposite often feels true?

For me, I keep thinking I'm 19, even though I'm nearly half-way towards being 21! Maybe that means 19, the year I got engaged, is my "ideal age"?

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Day 9: Wedding Dream Day

2010-05-24T09:53:00.000-04:00

Day 9: Show me your wedding photos and tell me about your day/ if your not married tell me what your dream wedding would be like!

How sad that I got too busy at the time of this post!! My dream wedding is going to happen on June 26th, 2010! I've found that picking just a few things I really want to happen a certain way, and then being really flexible and willing to compromise on everything else has been a good plan. My three important non-negotiable things are my dress, having as many of my friends as possible there, and of course, the man I'm marrying! I can't describe my dress because my fiance reads my blog and it's going to be a surprise for him. As to the guests--lets just say if every single person came (which I already know many can't...) we'd have 637 people there.

Yes, I did say 637.

But as of right now, 168 have RSVPed, and I'm expecting about 200-350 to attend. Peter and I both love people and can't wait to party with everyone! The number attending means we could not afford a dinner reception, so we are going to do desserts. I can't wait!

On to write blog #10--lets see if I can get caught up today!

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My apologies

2010-05-24T08:50:00.000-04:00

My apologies to all following me for the Theme-A-Day Journal! I will try to get caught up today. This past week has been jammed packed with preparation for the wedding and Peter's WorshipArts night and I just had to prioritize "real life" over blogging. Thank you for your patience!

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Day 8: Lovey Dovey Talk

2010-05-19T23:43:00.000-04:00

Day 8: What does romance mean to me?

To me, romance is the relationship I have with my love, Peter. It is all the tender moments we share--the whispers, looks, smiles, and conversations that are rich with the love we share for each other.

It is learning how to love each other better. For example, we've taken the time to read (oh so many) books about how to understand each other and treat each other better. The ideas in Love & Respect and especially I Promise You (or His Needs, Her Needs but I haven't read that one yet) have been fantastic and I think any one in a serious relationship should read them, even if they aren't engaged or married.

It is all the little things we do for each other. We write each other notes, give each other backrubs, assist each other with projects, get gifts (like cookies for him or books for me!) for each other, and so much more.

We dream together, and we listen to each other. We talk about what we want to do in life, where God is taking us, and all the adventures we have together.

We comfort each other. Lately its been him comforting me more than the other way around, but our relationship is a safe place and God definitely uses each of us to bless the other with comfort.

Romance is all these things and so much more to me. Romance is my relationship with Peter.

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Day 7: Le Sens

2010-05-18T09:24:00.002-04:00

Day 7: Write about what each of your senses are sensing right now: taste, feel, what you can see, hear and smell.

See: My computer, and my mostly clean room! (Yay! My room has been a disaster for the months during school...good grades require sacrifices, you know.) The book Peter got me for our one year anniversary of engagement yesterday:

Taste: I just woke up. So, I've got that not so great morning taste in my mouth.

Feel: My warm quilt my Nana made me, and the cool air on my arms. The smooth keys of my keyboard, and the pages of my notebook resting against my elbow.

Hear: I hear my little brothers (ages 8 and 10) going between laughing and talking about their schoolwork in the other room. (My family homeschools, so I get to see them often!)

Smell: I smell my room. I've been cleaning, so there is a trace of dust combined with the smell of linens and hints of my perfumes. A comforting, familiar smell. =)

Thanks for reading! Hopefully I can write a nice post about the significance of yesterday and Peter and I's engagement...but I'm quite busy so we will see what happens! Have a beautiful day!

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Day 6: Yummy, Yummy

2010-05-17T09:45:00.000-04:00

Day 6: Write about your favourite restaurant/foods or favourite recipe.

I think my #1 favorite food is this old family recipe called Kudovals and Glaze (that's how we pronounce it...I just looked up the German word for dumpling and its Knödel, which is probably what its really called, but it probably just got its name changed from generation to generation). It is German, and the recipe has never been written down, but is apprenticed to the ladies in the family. (My turn to learn is coming soon!!) It is basically a very creamy potato soup with dumplings and mom adds sausage....oh man. So good.

On other notes, my two bridal showers on Saturday went fantastically! I was SO blessed. We received so many things we needed--dishes, utensils, cookie sheets, baking dishes, hangers, hamper, laundry baskets, recipes, griddle, a George Foreman Grill (Peter wanted this badly haha), handmade quilted placemats, dish towels, bath towels, and so much more... including the crockpot that I really really wanted!! (As one of the girls at my shower said--you know you're growing up when you get excited about getting a crockpot!) Thank you to everyone who came out and blessed me! I love you all so much!

Next on the wedding planning/to-do list: Get the thank you cards out (as soon as they come in the mail), plan the reception, especially food-wise, plan out the photo taking, gather photos for a slideshow, get ribbion and start assembling the favors (as soon as the silk daisies come). Exciting!

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Day 5: Music Picks

2010-05-16T15:29:00.001-04:00

Day 5: Write a list of 10 song you think your readers should listen to.

Believe it or not, this is super hard for me--and not for the normal reason of too many to pick. I actually don't listen to much music! However, I do have some favorites that I'll share with you...in no particular order. =) (They link to youtube videos of each song =))

1. Call Me Out - By Gungor. This is one of my favorite songs right now! It always makes me want to dance. (especially at about 0:08--that little repeating thing on the piano? love it.) I love this band!

2. Dental Care - By Owl City. I like Owl City a lot--his music tends to brighten my day, its just upbeat and cheerful. I had trouble picking one song because I like them all about the same, but this one always makes me laugh for some reason. =)

3. Please Be My Strength - By Gungor. I love the heart of this song. I've been in that place before and this is just a heart crying out for God.

4. Alone - by Sanctus Real. I haven't listened to this is ages, but this was one of my favorite songs about 3 or 4 years ago...I just love love songs. Adorable! <3

5. Must Have Done Something Right - By Relient K. I know...its cliché...but I love this song, and it is how I feel about my man! <3 (Sorry the quality of the recording isn't fabulous.)

6. The Show - by Sanctus Real. This song is powerful to me--when I really think about the power of God's presence--this song just gives me the chills.

7. The Stand - by Hillsong. This is one of my favorite worship songs! It was hard to find a recording of it I liked--I love singing it at church with my brothers and sisters in Christ!

8. Comptine D'un Autre Été, L'après-Midi - By Yann Tiersan. I actually listen to a lot of classical music, because I like the calmness. This is one of my favorite pieces.

9. Keep Breathing - By Ingrid Michaelson. I really love the musical quality in this song. And what's cool is I discovered this song (and artist!) through another blogging friend, Brittany at Far More Than Rubies! Thanks for putting it on your blog, Brittany. =)

10. So Amazing - By Topic Of The Day. The lyrics of their songs are awesome! Unfortunately they don't have Love Poured Out recorded yet but that is fantastic. Who are they? The lead singer is my fiancé, Peter! And the rest of the band are my future brothers-in-law--Clay and Luke. Pretty awesome!

That took a LONG time. Hope you enjoy! <3 The showers were lovely yesterday--we got so many good things that we need and I'm so excited about it! We filled up the back of Peter's van with all the gifts! The best part was seeing all the people I love come around me and shower me in blessings. I am honored to be a part of so many awesome communities. <3

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Day 4: Fave Vacay

2010-05-15T07:00:00.002-04:00

Day 4: "Write about your favourite holiday/vacation and include photos if you wish."
I think my favorite vacation was in Feb. 2008, when my family and my best friend since 4th grade went to Florida and Walt Disney World. My family = hardcore Disney fans, and Lindsay (best friend) had never been there--it was SO great to visit old faves with a new person to show them to! So awesome. We all had a blast! Then the days on the beach in Sarasota...soakin' the sun...mmm, so good! One of the highlights was the last day, when Emily (best sister ever), Lindsay and I all woke up ultra early because we wanted to run down to the beach and find sand dollars. Unfortunately, even though we searched for hours...no sand dollars were to be found. But God blessed us with something so much cooler--we saw live, wild dolphins, just yards away from the shore!! So amazing!
Check for day 4!
Today I am going to two (out of three) bridal showers! The first is for family, mainly the Webb clan, and it's a brunch. I'm quite excited about it! The second is in the evening, and will be all of my lovely HPA (Homeschool Performing Arts) friends! I love them all so much and it's going to be a blast to celebrate with them!
Hope your Saturday is lovely!!
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Day 3: Proud of what?

2010-05-14T07:02:00.003-04:00

Day 3: What are you most proud of?
For starters, one of the biggest things I've accomplished and where much of my time has gone in my life has been my education. I feel like I type this all the time, but last semester I graduated with a 3.9 GPA and I'm extremely pleased with that grade. I cut it very close and was blessed enough that this last semester went just right and I made this grade by one class.
However, even though that is where much of my time has been spent, there are other things I am much more proud to be associated with and to have in my life. My family is amazing and I am so proud to be a Wright! (Even if it will only be my name a little longer, it'll always be in my blood!) My friends are spectacular and I don't know where I'd be without my ladies, Lindsay, Emily, Caitlin, Abby, Hannah, Anne, and so many lovely others, not to mention all the great gentleman I know as well! I am proud to call these amazing people my friends. I am proud to be a part of New Day Community Church, where I have grown up and learned so much truth about God and His heart for people.
However, what I am most proud of is my future husband, Peter Webb. His heart is completely devoted to God, his dreams are huge and wonderful, his strength awes me (physical and character-wise), and he is so tender and caring towards me. He solves my problems, spoils me, pushes me to do better, and constantly (truly CONSTANTly) encourages me. Peter Webb, I am proud to be your bride-to-be.

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Day 2: A Day in the Life

2010-05-13T23:15:00.002-04:00

I've joined a small group of bloggers who are writing based from the same prompts for the next month--I figured this could help me meet my goals of writing more often and help me document this exciting time in my life.

Day 2: What does a day in your life look like - write a timeline of your day.

Oh dear. I really don't have a timeline at all right now, and it is beginning to be a little stressful. Since school ended and my life drastically changed (in more ways than one--no longer moving across the country shook things up) I feel like I'm in the aftermath of an explosion and things are still settling.

For example, in the past two weeks I have gotten up anywhere between 8 AM and 11 AM, went to bed anywhere from 9 PM to 1 AM, and worked a hodgepodge of hours. Rather than try and write out the last two weeks, how about I share a rough outline of what I'm hoping will become more normal?

8 AM -- Wake up, Spend time in prayer and the Bible, get ready for day

10-11 AM until about 3-4 PM -- Work 3 days a week

4ish till 6 -- Either at home, working on housework or wedding planning, or out with friends or running errands

Evenings -- either at home with family, out with friends, or with Peter =)

Bed by about 11 PM

Truth be told, I'll probably see my fiancé, Peter, nearly every day...we tend to make that happen as much as possible! And I'm hoping now that school is done I'll be able to spend more time being social, and of course, wedding preparing!

Thanks for reading!

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Project: Blog Journal

2010-05-12T23:21:00.007-04:00

Ladies and Gentlemen,
This blog has been sorely neglected. School has ended and now my life is in full wedding-prep-mode swing. I have decided to try and do another blog every-day project along with a few other blogging friends (started by Emma at Toddler Awesome). The idea is she posts a question everyday and we write our answers along with her.

Day 1: Write an introduction.
I am Tori Wright for 44 more days; June 26th I become Tori Webb! I want to be recording at least a little bit of this wondrous and hectic time and so I figure at least doing these questions will help. I have just graduated with a Associates in Business Administration (with a 3.9--I can't believe it!), and am working 15 hours a week, as well as spending time with my family and friends and preparing hardcore for the wedding of the year (at least in my opinion). Right now I'm trying to figure out what in the world my life looks like without school and how to keep a sane head through this huge transition.

Alright! Day 1, Check.
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Big News

2010-04-27T14:09:00.000-04:00

Over the past weekend Peter and I have been praying about why we are moving to South Carolina.

WorshipArts has been growing rapidly, and Peter truly feels that it is his calling to lead it. We wanted to be sure moving would be the best way to steward our calls. To make a long weekend of praying short, we feel that instead of putting it on hold for a year, it would be best for Peter to stay and continue WorshipArts! Which means we will not be moving to South Carolina in July but will instead be staying here in Kalamzoo!

To those who knew of our plans, we felt that we were going to South Carolina to take a year to really focus on our marriage and preparing to launch WorshipArts in a larger way when we returned. We had made the decision to go because it was the only clear open door to get away for a while and focus on our marriage. This weekend we wanted to make sure that was the wisest thing to do concerning all areas of our lives. We also truly felt that God wanted us to make this decision based on what we wanted--we believe we would have still been under His favor if we had gone. However, we believe God will be blessing our marriage just as much here in Kalamazoo and that because He has already shown so much favor for WorshipArts that we are doing the right thing by staying.

Thank you to everyone who has been praying for us! We are currently looking at apartments in the area, Peter is in the market for a job to supplement WorshipArts after we get married, and I will continue to work at New Day, which is where we will be attending church.

So again, thanks for your prayers and being such amazing friends in our lives!

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Why I Love Pixar

2010-04-27T00:14:00.001-04:00

Many of you may not be on the same as me here or even think this is amazing at all....but I'm a hardcore Pixar fan and these "new" commercials are amazing! (I HIGHLY doubt the fact that I'm seeing them after midnight makes any difference in my judgement abilities...)

AND there is a Japanese one! Gotta love me good ol' Japanese TV =)

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"Just saying "old" makes me feel old."

2010-04-17T13:39:00.001-04:00

Conversation with my little brother:

Lewis: "I'm so old!"

Me: "Why do you say that?"

Lewis: "Just saying "old" makes me feel old."

Me: "Oh yeah?"

Lewis: "Yeah. I'm 8 years old! I can do so much now. (As he gets himself a glass of milk.) When I was little, I used to go watch the garbage truck come every time. But now I just keep doing my thing."

I don't know exactly why, but this conversation we had a moment ago really stuck out to me. Maybe it's that I was just thinking that about myself and how I'm about to be married in 2 months. Perspective is such a wild thing. Looking back on your life, be it the problems you used to think so important and that seem so trivial now, or the big events (like a garbage truck) that don't matter any more, things change when your perspective changes.

It makes me think about two things--

What am I worrying about now that won't matter?

And then this idea follows close behind:

What should I take delight in now, that will soon be gone, and that I'm not noticing at the moment?

Amazing what a few words from an 8-year-old can inspire.

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Dresses--To Buy or Not to Buy

2010-04-14T12:28:00.001-04:00

I'd really like to have a new dress for the honeymoon. Something cute and flirty, preferably a "little black dress," but something that I could definitely use often. I've been browsing around online and around town, and have found some options...but I just don't know if I should buy. I do have a few other cute dresses I could just use instead, but they aren't new, which isn't as fun.

So, here are my top three:

This dress is from Chadwicks and its $48.98 with shipping. This one would be really veristle--I could wear it out on dates with Peter, dress it down with sandals and wear it as an everyday dress, and also it could be professional enough to wear to work.

This one is so cute! It would be $44 with shipping. I really love that it's chiffon, and the seller said they would make it custom for me too. I'm a little concerned about it being made in Shanghai because of the language difference and hoping the sizing would come out right. I also don't think its quite as flexible as the first. It would definitely work for dates, and possibly work, but I think its a little too dressy for just everyday wear. But it is still adorable!

Finally, the third dress is from Charlotte Russe. I looked online but they don't have a picture of it. It's $32, black satin, comes just above the knee, has one shoulder with about an inch wide strap and the other is spaghetti strap, and has some silk flowers on the inch wide strap. Peter saw this one and loved it, I really like it but I don't know if I love it. A definite plus is that I was able to try it on first, unlike these other dresses.

Other things to consider: I'm moving to Summerville, SC in a few months and they have loads of summer dresses that are very affordable, I have a very casual black dress already, and I should probably be saving my money for more important things.

So readers, what's your opinion? Which do you like best? Should I even buy a dress?

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Find Rest, O my Soul

2010-04-11T08:48:00.001-04:00

Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him.

He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.

Psalm 62:5-6

I encourage you to rest in God today. Take the time as you worship Him this morning or wait on him today to let His hope fill your heart and rest comfort you. So often our lives get so busy that all we do is run--but that's not how it has to be. We don't have to run to the end of our rope before we get encouragement and rest. You do not need to go to the point of being shaken--He is your fortress, and you can find rest in Him today.

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A Summary

2010-04-08T00:31:00.001-04:00

Sorry for the lack of updates, friends! It looks like it is yet another summary of my life post before you...

The semester is going into full-time end mode, with papers and final projects due galore. It is beyond exciting that this is my last semester before graduation! Getting an associates is plenty enough for me right now, thats for sure!

Wedding plans are also moving rapidly along. Invitations have been designed, shower dates set, and a whole lot of loose ends are being tied up...and discovered! It is crazy, but it is lovely at the same time. Peter and I keep getting along better and better and that has been so much fun and such a blessing!

I've been trying like a mad women to squeeze in as many things involving other people as I can--be it multiple meetings with Peter, dinner with friends, or coffee dates with my girls. Unfortunately homework is causing much postponing, but I'm still managing to see Peter often and one or two other sets of friends a week. Not as much as I would like (I love too many people! ;-)) but at least much better than during past semesters!

I've been so busy I've barely had time to do much of the contemplating that normally spurs my more theological, retrospective, or "deeper" posts, but if the wedding doesn't take over my life entirely maybe more of those will appear after May 3rd, the last day of classes.

Unfortunately my procrastination hasn't helped matters. I did not by any means get homework done by reasonable goals these past two weeks and even had to skip a class today to finish a take home test for another class--a frustrating first for me. However, my goal is to get much more homework done this weekend, so hopefully next week will be much smoother and less stressful!

I have been in the word due to the Daily Audio Bible podcast (I have a post in my head I want to write about that soon!) but actually setting down and reading, praying, and journaling has been difficult lately. I guess I'm in a hopefully short season of prayer and bible reading (er, listening) while driving... but maybe if my high plans of productivity this weekend succeed I can get more time with Jesus in again regularly! He is first on my schedule, but that terrible invention called a snooze button keeps robbing Him of his deserved time... I hate admitting these things, but I am trying to be more transparent with my weaknesses lately, and I figure this is as good a place as any to let others know my trouble spots!

Thank you for reading! Your comments and remarks on facebook and in person about this blog are what keep me doing what I love--writing!

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Lots Happening!

2010-03-27T07:30:00.003-04:00

I guess I'm just at that stage in life where things don't slow down! I think this will be one of those "streams of consciousness" posts and I'll just type what comes to mind and let it roll off my fingers here.

Yesterday I had a fabulous time praying with four other amazing women that I know. We've been meeting weekly and it has been SO GOOD. We spent some time praying for each other and then had an intense time of intercession for our city. God led us to pray for specific things and we are really expecting the strategies He gave us to pray into to bring breakthrough and blessing for our area!

I've been a bit on the emotional side lately. I know a big chunk of it is facing all the changes that are rapidly approaching me (3 months from this weekend I get hitched!) and part of it is probably just hormonal. The downside is it makes me more melancholy and moody, and so I want to discuss things really in depth... to the point where it probably feels like, to Peter, that I'm just imagining half the problems I feel I need to talk about. Thankfully he is extremely patient and loving and he cares for me even when we both don't understand what the heck is going on with my mood. To be honest, I think most of it is God working on things in my heart--things I can't even identify completely yet, so I'm just a bit disoriented. (Hopefully that makes at least a little sense?)

After prayer yesterday I was able to spend some time really looking into ideas for the wedding reception decorations and I think I've found just what we need! It really helped get me more excited about the wedding decorations and daisy theme! I've also been working on designing the invitations and I'm hoping to have it done by the beginning of this upcoming week. So many things are starting to fall into place--and so many thing have yet to be done! But I know overall its going to be great and I can't wait for the adventure of marriage that is before Peter and I!

Well, I hope you feel a little bit more up-to-date on my doings! I hope you have a wonderful weekend!

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Seedtime & Harvest

2010-03-23T23:25:00.000-04:00

My church has been doing this really interesting and great series on Seedtime & Harvest (you can listen if you're interested), and as I was browsing flickr.com today I came across some pictures that really struck me. I've had a bit of an interesting week spiritually, like the enemy is trying to intimidate me. But I feel like the harvest is going to be so great! These pictures, especially the first, really convey what I've been feeling.

(Photo cred)

(photo cred)

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Disney Movie Magic

2010-03-22T07:30:00.000-04:00

There is just something great about spending an evening watching a good old Disney movie or two and relaxing with your family. My sister and I caught the end of Snow White and then freaked out when we found out Mulan was up next, a few nights ago.

I have to say, when we both got up and started dancing to "Be A Man" I was smiling like I was in a Disney park. Good times! (And we may or may not have spend the whole night quoting the movie through our facebooks with other friends watching the movie too...)

Spending time with family connecting over a good movie is always so great. What movies do you and your siblings or family share fond memories about?

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And The Days Keep Going...

2010-03-21T07:33:00.000-04:00

Well, "Gentle Reader," I crossed a milestone a few days ago!

The countdown to my wedding has officially gone to double digits!! In fact...there are only 97 days left to go! It's crazy to think how rapidly it has shrunk! Days truly do fly when you are busy.

I thought this image was pretty appropriate...it definitely feels like a highway now! So much to think about and think through! And the most important thing of all, yet so easily lost in all the busyness...

ENJOY IT!

I'm taking a moment right now to take a deep breath, smile, and just delight in the blessings God has given me. I am marrying the perfect man for me and I love him deeper everyday. It is fantastic!

Ok, your turn! Deep breath, smile, and thank God for your blessings. It can really brighten your day. =)

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Daisy Time!

2010-03-20T07:30:00.002-04:00

I've got a thing for dasies. There is something so cheerful about them, so lighthearted, simple, even pure. If you don't know already, they are the flower I'm going to have at my wedding. And then generally make me smile.

Hence the new layout! (Here at mybreathingheart.blogspot.com, for those from facebook.)

I LOVE the color! I love how clean it feels. I feel like this is the season I'm entering into--color, life, new, different, a bit bold (which makes me think of taking risks and going for change--and change is going to be the theme of my life for a while now, as you'll see!) and totally fun!!

What do you think?

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6:40 AM to 12:18 PM

2010-03-16T00:18:00.002-04:00

Do people like to read posts about what happens in the day of the writer? It seems that I read a lot of blogs like that and I enjoy it, so I guess I'll share what happened with me to you today. Besides, I think I'll appreciate looking back at a day in my life at college sometime down the road.

After a late night of studying until 12:40ish, I woke up at about 6:45 to study some more.

(Procrastination at it's finest, I will admit. However, it wasn't like I was wasting other time, I just filled it with family, trips, friends, and work, not homework.) Tried to squeeze in a little more sleep at 8:30 and slightly panicked when I realized I didn't start getting ready until 9 and class starts at 9:30. Grabbed my trusty Bolthouse and headed out the door at 9:17 and made it to class about 9:35. Not too bad--thanks to God's favor that keeps finding me a parking spot when I don't deserve it.

First class of the day: Electronic Communication & Document Management. Wow--let me just say I was expecting a bit more when I signed up for this class. Turns out it's about how to use web browsers and the internet so far. Thankfully most of that is intuitive for me, I have learned a little about internet history, and she lets us take the assessments open book so I get to learn it all in class once lecture ends. I'll be honest, sometimes the lectures feel long and uncessisary, but hey, I'm sure it helps some people in the class.

Next up: study for take home test for my Web Page Coding class. Took about an hour and a half, but it was on Moodle so I got my grade right away-- 90%, and it was open book, so that says something about the difficulty level. It's like learning a new language that you can't speak, only type, and that doesn't make much sense--how to talk to a computer. Interesting, but a bit stretching for me, who hasn't done much with HTML.

After taking the test I worked on making a sweet logo for Peter's program, WorshipArts. I'm really excited with how it turned out--and I did it all in picnik!! Check it out:

Mr. Fantastic Peter came out to see me and for a break drove me over to Biggby's for their birthday celebration--free tall specialty drink for everyone today!! Pretty awesome! We rocked out to Gungor in his car and had a blast. Pretty much loving the opening melody in this song. Ran into Corey and got the prices for the many Tuxes we will need in 3 months, 1 week, and 4 days from now(!!!).

Then I studied for my eBusiness class test...which I really didn't feel ready for at all. Thankfully we are allowed to bring study guides with our notes to class AND the test is a group test...but the content is sooo hard to follow! The real problem is that he basically told us he grades very subjectively and that he grades off his lectures not the textbook...which basically means I don't know how to study for it... BUT it was a group test, and I think we scrapped up enough answers...even though they acted like they didn't care at all... *sigh*

Shout out to the lovely girls who prayed for me today for that test--Emily, Caitlin, Abby, Anna, Hannah, Lindsay and Anne--thanks for being my prayer warriors who are just a text away! Love you!!

Thankfully it being a test night meant that I got out at 7:40--and it was still light out!! That is so encouraging! I got to see the dusk light and it lifted my spirits.

I spent the evening hanging out with my family--it was wonderful! Emily and I played around on the piano while Dad taught mom and the boys how to use some weights and then mom, dad, Emily and I laughed about things on Facebook and compared music tastes, which among many things lead to Emily's status sharing my music memory about "a lonely boy, in a city" (sigh) and a story about dad's friend meeting John Denver.

And now I'm writing this blog post. Overall, even though I'm exhausted, and have hours and hours of homework to do in the next few days, I am blessed and I had a good day. God is good through all circumstances and writing this out really helped me focus on the good instead of the monotonous.

What do you think? Would you read a post similar to this about me again or would that get boring after a while?

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Honesty

2010-03-07T17:40:00.000-05:00

You know that saying, "Honesty is the best policy"? I definitely think whoever started that had the right idea. Being honest and telling the truth is so essential to having trust and being trustworthy, and a relationship can only go so far without trust and honesty. I want to be known as someone who tells the truth and I want to live my life according to that standard.

I think this is one of the key reasons that my relationship with my fiancé, Peter, was able to grow and flourish. Due to a little mix-up when we were about 13, Peter thought I told him something (through a message online) that wasn't true at the time and that would change how we related to each other. When the misunderstanding came to the surface, we made a pact then and there that whenever we asked the other person a question with "honestly" in the sentence that the truth had to be spoken or to say "I can't tell you that now." (We used this keyword, instead of saying "always," because we both have a sarcastic streak and didn't want to limit that humor.) This established trust in our relationship before any romance bloomed, and I am forever thankful that this happened and strengthened our foundation. Valuing honesty will bless every relationship you may find yourself in.

At first, this trait actually resulted in me offending a lot of people, because I made sure to be as honest as I could. I took this value too far and let every one of my opinions be made known as clearly as possible--read that as: I lacked tact. However, as I grow, I continue to learn how to express the truth and opinions I have in a way that is uplifting and encouraging, or to just keep my mouth shut at times. And let me tell you--I'm by no means perfect...but I will keep working on it!

I kind of think of this policy that I've applied to my life in a similar way to Thumper's dad from Bambi--my version is, "If you aren't going to be honest, don't say nothin' at all."

(The original, "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all" isn't all that bad either...in relation to tact, for example!)

Honesty is also something core to my faith and something I know God values and even blesses. Here are some verses I found:

Proverbs 19:1 "It is better to be poor and honest than to be a fool and dishonest."

Proverbs 24:26 "It is an honor to receive an honest reply."

Proverbs 28:10b "...the honest will inherit good things."

Proverbs 28:18a "The honest will be rescued from harm..."

Honesty is core to who I am. It is a value I am to ever increase in my life, and one I try to recognize and honor is those around me. Be encouraged to take whatever steps you need to increase honesty in your life, and I promise you the rewards will be great.

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